November 2007

Whether it’s a friend who has stabbed you in the back or some jerk who just always really pissed you off at school we’ve all had rivalries and helped put the “us” in “versus”.

Hosts Daryn Jones and Jessi Cruickshank will look at some epic rivalries, and pour a ton of gasoline on “MTV Live’s” own most enduring grudge between Daryn Jones and Paul The Intern.

Our in-studio guests will be Kenny and Spenny who’ll join us to talk about the new season of their show “Kenny vs. Spenny,” a hilarious series in which the two best friends compete against each other in utterly ridiculous, immature and intense challenges.

And then, southeast London quartet Athlete will be here to perform from their third album Beyond The Neighbourhood.

Hosts Daryn Jones and Aliya-Jasmine Sovani want to find out what grosses you out? Are there any dating deal-killers of the gross variety? And what’s the grossest thing you’ve ever seen…or better yet, the grossest thing you’ve ever done?

We’ll also count-down the Top 5 grossest moments from “MTV Live”…and we’ve done some really gross S#%T. Renowned for their stellar live shows, Cuff The Duke will also be in the studio to perform from their newly released album Sidelines of the City.

The casts from two of television’s hottest series CSI and Without a Trace, join forces for the first time to solve a case in a special crossover episode Thursday, Nov. 8 and Friday, Nov. 9 on CTV. The investigation begins on CSI, Nov. 8 at 8 p.m. ET on CTV and concludes during Without a Trace on Nov. 9 at 10 p.m. ET on CTV (visit CTV.ca to confirm local broadcast times).

The “W4” crossover begins on CSI Thursday with the all–new episode “Who and What.” Grissom and the CSI team are investigating the death of a boy in Las Vegas when they realize he may have been a kidnap victim from New York who went missing six years ago. The CSI team works with Det. Jack Malone (Without a Trace’s Anthony LaPaglia) to investigate the murder and the possible connection to a serial killer.

The investigation continues Friday in the Without a Trace episode entitled “Where and Why.” Together the FBI team and the CSIs search for a pattern that will help them capture the suspected killer.

A fight breaks out over the selling of food from the kitchen as snacks when it is normally free when Divad takes some food and prepares it. Jared wants to compete but they gang up on him. In frustration, he overturns Divad’s tables.

The Town Council read the journal and it tells them that there is a gold mine up the road. Laurel is worried about the town turning into a haves and have nots and greed becoming a driving factor in the town.

Divad and Jared make up while the council check out the mine. There were bats and all things to scare young children.

To entertain everyone, Sophia puts some fifty cent pieces in the bottom of a pot and fills it with all sorts of disgusting things from the kitchen and then offers to anyone who wants to put their hands in the chance to get themselves 50c.

The council find a treasure chest deep in the mine and when they open it it is loaded with 370 buffalo nickels. They decide that they will buy a bunch of things for the town to use. Kites, musical instruments and sporting goods.

11 year old Nathan is still aware that while it’s nice to have some fun, there are still a lot of things that need to get done. He’s doing laundry and Laurel comes up and talks to him and suggests he needs to relax and be a kid for a bit instead of working.

Nathan and Greg always seem to fight and they’re arguing about water. Nathan says he’s had enough and contemplates going home but it doesn’t want to weaken him.

There is some girls laundry getting washed and Sophia tells the boys that they’ll do them since they’re nasty.

Divad is the richest kid in town with $1.25 which she’s made from selling fried potato.

It’s time for the next Showdown. It’s about collecting golden eggs. The aim is use a giant slingshot and fire gold painted eggs and while others from the district must catch them in giant padded cushions. Blue has a great system and catches them one after anohter while Red and Green really struggle. They need to get 4 dozen eggs in total to win the reward for the town in 15 minutes.

After the challenge the eggs are counted. Red only caught 5. Green caught 6. Yellow caught 18. Blue needs to have caught 19 for the award. They caught 38 eggs giving them a huge lead and the Upper Class. The first option for the reward is coin operated washing machines that will cost 20c per load. The second option is a new set of clothes each and a pioneer washing machine for free. The council deliberates and decide on the free clothes.

Jared has an idea and has a magnifying glass which he uses to burn letters into bits of wood and makes some necklaces to sell for 10c. It’s genius and makes him $2.90 which he then heads off to spend. He buys himself a jacket, shoes and hat and says he’s now the Bill Gates of Bonanza City.

Pharoah is wanting to win the gold star and give the $20,000 to his mom cause he really needs it.

Nathan is doing some washing late at night and Guylan talks to him to try and get him to relax a little too but he’s a really hard worker. Later that night, Greg apologises for being mean to him.

In the morning, Divad is campaigning for the gold star too. While everyone is standing outside in the line waiting to give the council their thoughts on who should win the gold star, Divad is handing out snacks to be nice but a lot of people are viewing it as a bribe.

The council’s decision is going to be either Nathan or Pharoah. At the town hall meeting, they make the announcement and this week it’s Nathan. He’s going to put the money towards music and school.

Divad is feeling a little jealous and thinks she does just as much work as Nathan and wonders if she needs to bring the council to every place where she’s working so they notice her.

This week on Survivor China:

After Tribal Council and back at Fei Long Courtney is a little annoyed at Amanda and Todd over them trying to be friends with her even though they wont back her in trying to get rid of Jean-Robert.

At Zhan Hu, James and Peigh Gee talk strategy beyond the merge. While the others are down at the water talking about how weird James seemed to be when he came back from camp, James is back taking the second immunity idol for himself.

Courtney and Todd talk further about Jean-Robert and Todd is getting annoyed about her desire to get rid of him because of the merge coming up and how that could affect their numbers.

At Zhan Hu, the tribe have discovered the board missing off the archway. They find the one that James had knocked off the wrong side. Peigh Gee takes James off for a walk and Jamie goes through James bag and discovers that he’s got two immunity idols wrapped up in his pants.

In the morning, James can’t find the board he knocked off and wonders if Jamie has taken it thinking it was the right one. He’s in hysterics at the the thought that she might have put the board aside thinking it was the immunity idol when it wasn’t.

The two tribes come together and Jeff announces that they have merged. Jamie thinks it will be interesting now that they’ve merged and she “has the immunity idol”.

Jeff tells them that they’re heading off to enjoy a feast and performance by some Chinese acrobats but then they’re also warned that the game never ends.

The new tribe decide on a new tribe name and Black Monsoon and Fighting Wind are thrown around.

Peigh Gee is hoping that she has James and Frosti on her side come the vote.

Jeff turns up at camp and they tell him that the new Tribe is called Black Fighting Wind. Jeff pulls out the Individual Immunity Idol and says it’s time for the challenge. They need to recall what happened during the feast and performance. If they get it wrong, they’re out.

The first question is about how many lots of firecrackers were let off. James, Courtney, Amanda and Peigh Gee all got it wrong and are out. The correct answer was three.

The second question is about what was in the centre of the table. It was a dragon and everyone get that right.

The next question was in regards to the color of the pole in the middle of the courtyard. Both Frosti and Jamie get it right (yellow) while everyone else said red.

The last question was what were the dancing girls in the long skirts wearing on their feet. The correct answer was nothing which Frosti guessed after he’d said at the start he would lose because he has a terrible memory.

James talks to Todd about the immunity Idol situation and how one of them has a blank board. They think it’s Jamie and they want to get rid of her. James is also annoyed with Courtney who is playing Frosti and some love game.

Jean-Robert and Todd talk and plan a trip to the final 3. Jean-Robert says that if he gets screwed though then he will hold Todd responsible and he will not win because he will lobby so hard against him.

Jamie talks to Frosti about the Immunity Idol and tries to convince him to vote for Jean-Robert. She then talks to Todd and says that if he keeps her around for another day then she’ll tell him who has the immunity idols tomorrow. Todd laughs and thinks she’s on the little bike at the back of the bunch and is peddling furiously.

Tribal Council is certainly shaping up to be incredibly interesting.

Just before Jeff reads the votes, Jamie pulls out her board and asks if it is an immunity idol. Jeff tells her it’s not and throws it into the fire much to Jean-Robert’s relief. Jeff reads out the votes and Jamie’s name is written on the most parchments so she’s gone and becomes the first member of the jury.

Presenters Announced for The Scotiabank Giller Prize Broadcast, Nov. 6 and 7 on Bravo! and CTV

– Gordon Pinsent, Lisa Ray, Kelly Rowan, John Ralston Saul and Pamela Wallin confirmed to appear in prestigious literary broadcast –

CTV announced today the complete contingent of esteemed presenters for its broadcast of The Scotiabank Giller Prize, airing live on Bravo! on Tuesday, Nov. 6 at 9 p.m. ET and on CTV on Wednesday, Nov. 7 at 10 a.m. ET and 8 p.m. ET (visit Bravo.ca and CTV.ca to confirm local broadcast times). The awards, which celebrate the best in Canadian fiction, will see each of the five short-listed authors and their literary works introduced by one of the five presenters.

The five presenters for this year’s The Giller Prize broadcast are:

* Actor Gordon Pinsent, who brought Michael Ondaatje’s poem “The Cinnamon Peeler’s Wife” to life in the film Away from Her. Pinsent will introduce Ondaatje and his novel Divisadero.
* Actress Lisa Ray, whose starring role in the acclaimed film Water dealt with political and religious issues in India – an integral part of finalist M.G. Vassanji’s novel The Assassin’s Song.
* Actress and producer Kelly Rowan, who will introduce Alissa York and her novel Effigy – a story about a polygamous family set in the 1800s. Rowan executive-produced and starred in the CTV original movie In God’s Country earlier this year, which shares the book’s themes of polygamy and child brides.
* Author John Ralston Saul, who was quoted in Daniel Poliquin’s Reflections of a Siamese Twin, will present Poliquin and his novel A Secret Between Us.
* Journalist Pamela Wallin, who began her career in the world of radio, the setting for finalist Elizabeth Hay’s novel Late Nights on Air.

**Media Note** – Download photography for The Scotiabank Giller Prize at www.ctvmedia.ca.

As previously announced, The Scotiabank Giller Prize will be hosted by Seamus O’Regan. In addition to its broadcasts on Bravo! and CTV, the one-hour program will be delivered live to the world and then later on demand on The CTV Broadband Network at Bravo.ca and giller.CTV.ca.

For those looking for love on the Internet – beware! In an all new episode, W-FIVE reveals some of the dangers lurking behind the screens for Canadians using online dating services – with cybersharks searching for their next victim. W-FIVE airs Saturday, November 3 at 7 p.m. on CTV (visit CTV.ca to confirm local broadcast times).

In this episode, W-FIVE’s Victor Malarek uncovers cases where women who meet a potential suitor through online dating services and were later conned for thousands of dollars, and in some cases, forced to endure extensive physical and mental abuse. W-FIVE cameras are rolling as Malarek tracks down one known-criminal and online predator.

In the second half hour, W-FIVE’s Alan Fryer reveals that the quality of new houses across Canada are grossly inadequate with many builders putting Canadian families in what critics refer to as “disposable homes.”

Program Alert – October 31, 2007

OLN Salutes the Canadian Forces in a Remembrance Day Marathon of Truth Duty Valour, November 11

This Remembrance Day, Canadians will honour the valiant soldiers who have fought for freedom over the last century and continue to do so today. As soldiers are saluted on this national day of remembrance, OLN pays tribute to our Canadian Forces with a marathon of Truth Duty Valour, beginning Sun., Nov. 11 at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT. Over the course of four consecutive hours, Truth Duty Valour offers an in-depth look at various facets of the Canadian Forces including the Army, Air Force and the Navy. Watch as soldiers complete rigorous training and are deployed on missions around the world – often in dangerous situations – to serve and protect the freedom and safety of others. Each episode of the marathon provides an insiders look at what soldiers are currently experiencing in combat. Able to face any threat or danger, this series reveals how young Canadian soldiers, air crew and sailors put it all on the line in the name of our country.

Highlights from the marathon include:

Truth Duty Valour – “Canadian Manoeuvre Training Centre”

Sun., Nov. 11 at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT

In this new episode, Truth Duty Valour profiles the pride of the Canadian Army – The Canadian Manoeuvre Training Centre. Set deep in the plains of Alberta, the military has turned 640 square kilometres of land into a virtual Afghanistan. Using state-of-the-art lasers, computers, actors and at least eight simulated villages, watch as the Army trains large numbers of soldiers for combat. Get a chilling look at what Canadian solders will experience in the Middle East and the dangers they must anticipate. Truth Duty Valour follows members of the Royal 22nd Regiment as they train for deployment. Next stop – Afghanistan.

Truth Duty Valour – “Snowbirds”

Sun., Nov. 11 at 9 p.m. ET/6 p.m. PT

The Snowbirds acrobatic team has thrilled millions of people during the last 30 years with their death-defying flying and precision drills. They race through the sky, missing each other by astonishingly short distances every time. Danger hides behind every curve. It takes nerves of steel and a passion for perfection to fly in this unit. Truth Duty Valour climbs into the cockpit with the Snowbird team to reveal what it takes to be one of the best pilots in the world.

Truth Duty Valour – “NATO with H.M.C.S. Iroquois”

Sun., Nov. 11 at 10 p.m. ET/7 p.m. PT

Canada and the other members of NATO have a permanent task group that is always on guard to meet any threat or need at sea. They’re on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. This year, Canada commands the seven nation squadron as it sails throughout the Mediterranean and seas surrounding Europe. Join the crew of H.M.C.S. Iroquois on this multi-national force and learn how these soldiers train for counter-terrorism operations.

Truth Duty Valour – “Medics”

Sun., Nov. 11 at 11 p.m. ET/ 8 p.m. PT

When there is a cry for help, medics always ready to save lives – even if it means putting their own on the line. From deployed combat operations in Afghanistan to disaster relief around the world, medics make a crucial difference in crisis situations. Witness members of 2 Field Ambulance in Petawawa as they prepare for various operations, training soldiers to help their comrades injured in war.

OLN – Outdoor Life Network captures the adventurous spirit and passion for the great outdoors. Rough and tough, bone-breaking action and danger, OLN is Canada’s leader in outdoor programming with a focus on life beyond the comforts of home. OLN’s cutting-edge western lifestyle, outdoor exploration, survival, strength and reality programming is second only to extensive coverage from the most physically gruelling events from around the world, including the Tour de France, Iditarod, Professional Bull Riders, The Amazing Race and Dakar Rally. Visit Canada’s roughest, most rugged and entertaining network online at . CTV Inc. is the managing partner of OLN.

Program Alert – November, 2007

Wake Up to a Wack of New Comedy in November!

Rise and shine! We’ve got a lot going on in November:

· Good Morning World, **BROADBAND PREMIERE** Five to seven minute webisodes available at 9 a.m, (Nov.12) on thecomedynetwork.ca. ** BROADCAST PREMIERE** (Nov. 16) at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT

· Jon Dore continues to solve life’s little problems in The Jon Dore Television Show, Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET/PT – new episodes all month

· Self-proclaimed “playas” test their pick-up prowess in Keys to the VIP Season 2 – Thursdays at 10 p.m. ET/PT – new episodes all month

· Sarah Silverman does whatever it is she does on The Sarah Silverman Program Season 2 – Thursdays at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT

· Live at Gotham – No holds barred stand-up, Mondays at 10 p.m. ET/PT – new episodes all month
· Drawn Together Season 3 – Sundays at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – new episodes all month
· South Park Season 11 – Uncensored baby! , Fridays at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT
· Corner Gas Season 5 – Fun from Dog River! Saturdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT – new episodes all month
· Legends: Rodney Dangerfield (1 hour special) ** PREMIERE ** -(Nov. 24) at 10 p.m. ET/PT
· Check out the antics of Little George Bush on Lil’Bush, available exclusively on thecomedynetwork.ca

Below is a chronological listing of November 1 to 30 programming highlights. (R) indicates a rebroadcast. All programming is subject to change (visit the thecomedynetwork.ca to confirm local broadcast times):

Time zone airtimes as follows:

MT = PT + 1 hour

CT = PT + 2 hours

AT = ET + 1 hour

NFLD = ET + 1.5 hours

Thursday, November 1

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Simpson Tide” (R)

**Part of “Springfield Resurrected Marathon”

Homer gets fired from the nuclear plant and decides to join the Naval Reserve. Meanwhile, Bart gets an earring to look cool, but Homer makes him quit wearing it and ends up taking it with him to sea. Homer makes some bad decisions and nearly starts a war. Bart’s earring comes in handy when the ship springs a leak. Featuring Bob Denver (1935-2005).

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Keys to the VIP

Eyal Goldfarb (Sales Rep, 22) vs Illya Konstantin (Actor/Carpenter, 23)

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Program – “Joan of Arf”

After their mother’s grave – and skeleton – is defiled, the Silverman sisters become contestants on their favorite TV show in hopes of winning the money to replace the tombstone. In the stress of competition, Sarah’s childish obsession with doodie humour rocks her relationship with Laura, and threatens the honor of their departed mother.

Friday, November 2

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “A Tale of Two Springfields” (R)

**Part of “Springfield Resurrected Marathon”

When the phone company gives Springfield a new area code, Homer revolts against taking the part of Springfield with the new area code (the poor side of town) with him. Soon it’s Olde Springfield versus New Springfield. As mayor of New Springfield, Homer runs it haphazardly and soon the population of New Springfield moves over to Olde Springfield, leaving the Simpson family as the only residents. It takes a Who concert to bring the two parts of Springfield together. Featuring John Entwhistle (1944-2002).

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “D- Yikes!”

Once again Mrs. Garrison gets dumped, but this time she decides to take it out on her fourth grade class. When the boys have finally had enough of their teacher’s erratic mood swings and excessive homework assignments, they find out that there are people-for-hire that can help out in any situation. Meanwhile, Mrs. Garrison is finding life without men has its upsides.

Saturday, November 3

8 – 8:30 p.m. ET/PT – Corner Gas – “Wash Me”

Wanda’s happy when her latest crush gives her his number. But her love life soon hinges on whether Hank washes his truck or not. Meanwhile, Brent starts to question his sense of smell in the presence of Oscar and Emma, and Lacey gives the Ruby an artistic touch-up courtesy of Karen, whose drawings seem to appeal to everyone but Davis.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “The Mysterious Voyage of Homer” (R)

**Part of “Springfield Resurrected Marathon”

At the big annual chili cook-off Homer eats some of Chief Wiggum’s chili with Guatemalan insanity peppers, and it burns the hell out of Homer’s mouth. He decides to put wax in his mouth, so he can eat the peppers whole. After eating a few, he begins hallucinating, runs off into the sunset and experiences a strange journey. Featuring Johnny Cash (1932-2003).

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Comedy Central Presents: Lewis Black (R)

Caustic Lewis Black, America’s foremost commentator on everything, demystifies the universe and the origins of candy corn in this 30-minute stand-up special. Sarcasm, swearing, shouting and angry finger-shaking are staples of Black’s stand-up style channeling comedic influences like George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Lily Tomlin, Bob Newhart and Shelley Burman. Black has been a regular contributor to The Daily Show with Jon Stewart since 1996 as the unstoppable, loose-cannon, political commentator of the “Back in Black” segment on the show.

Sunday, November 4

6:30 p.m. – 7 p.m. ET/PT – Comedy Now! – Fraser Young (R)

Fraser Young is a stand-up comedian with a style all his own. After winning the prestigious Tim Sims Encouragement Fund, awarded to the best up and coming comic in Toronto that shows a creative and fresh approach to comedy, Fraser made several national television and radio appearances which include CBC Radio’s Brave New Waves, Madly Off In All Directions, Definitely Not The Opera, MuchMoreMusic and is a regular on MuchMusic’s Video On Trial. Not your standard setup-punchline comedian, his act involves mixing unique observations into his eccentric, anecdotal comedy. With his distinctive voice, stage presence, and clever outlook, Fraser Young is a comedian you will not soon forget.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Burns Baby Burns” (R)

**Part of “Springfield Resurrected Marathon”

The family goes to an apple mill and on the way home, they see a hitchhiker. Homer wants to pick him up, but Marge is totally against it. Ignoring her, Homer picks him up and finds out that he is Mr. Burns’ illegitimate son, Larry. He helps Larry get in touch with Burns, but Mr. Burns cannot stand him, because he is boorish, obnoxious and rude. Featuring Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004).

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – Drawn Together – “Spelling Applebee’s”

Foxxy refuses to participate in a house Spelling Bee to win a gift certificate to Applebee’s. The truth comes out that Foxxy used to be the best speller in all the land, but had fallen far from grace after a violent racial incident at a Bee years earlier. Spanky convinces Foxxy to go for the title once again. In the meantime, Captain Hero discovers Clara has a secret sexual fetish for car crashes. Hero causes wrecks to get Clara off, but does she really love him? Or is she just using him for the car crashes?

Monday, November 5

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Live at Gothman

Andy Kindler hosts a night of stand-up from the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Featured comedians this week include Ryan Hamilton, Jonah Ray, Amy Schumer, Bryan Gutmann, Tom Sharpe and Vargus Mason.

Tuesday, November 6

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “Juicy Lou’s”

After Juicy Lou runs a TV commercial that makes DBC look bad, Tim offers to hire Scott Bakula for a commercial of their own. However, Tim’s Scott Bakula turns out to be a fraud. Sam’s ex-girlfriend is released from prison and he thinks he might still have a chance with her.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Man Stroke Woman

Quick-witted and well-observed, Man Stroke Woman is a quirky and original take on men, women, kids, friendship and pretty much anything that’s worth having a laugh about. Produced by Ash Atalla (The Office) this British sketch comedy series brings together an odd but irresistible collection of personalities.

Wednesday, November 7

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Jon Dore Television Show – “Happiness”

Feeling, as Tom Waits said, “like a spent piece of used jet trash”, Jon mopes around his disgusting apartment wondering why he is so down. Taking his shrinks’ advice, Jon sets out to get happy. He interviews a monk, donates blood and finds meaningful work by becoming a stripper. In this touching episode, Jon learns that his sound man has a very weak stomach, dog farts are deadly and that being happy takes way too much effort.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

Carlos takes on a sensitivity training class before taking on the world of speed- dating. Carlos is dressed as a Latina woman trying to find a mate.

Thursday, November 8

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Keys to the VIP

Frank Marques (Jiu-Jitsu Instructor, 20) and Kyle Gentle (Construction Worker, 24) compete in three hilarious rounds of pick-up challenges to win a VIP nightclub experience.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Program – “Ah, Men”

Sarah enters a serious romance with God. She starts to sour on his neediness and deep-seeded insecurity, but she also wants to show him off at her high school reunion. Brian and Steve wonder if smoking marijuana is what originally caused them to be gay.

Friday, November 9

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “Night of the Living Homeless”

The number of homeless people in South Park is increasing as they eat, sleep and beg for change across the town. While the adults try to find creative solutions to deal with the homeless, the boys are trying to figure out a way to solve the problem for good.

Saturday, November 10

8 – 8:30 p.m. ET/PT – Corner Gas – “The Eight Samurai”

Dog River has a sister-town in Japan, and Emma and Karen have to find an appropriate present to send after receiving and losing a gift from them. Lacey wants to make Corner Gas and The Ruby ‘green’ and drags a reluctant Brent into her plans. Wanda fills in as bartender at the Hotel, and starts doling out advice that no one wants.

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Jeff Foxworthy- Totally Committed (R)

Filmed live on stage at The Taft Theater in Cincinnati, Jeff Foxworthy–who bought new boots for the show–is totally committed! In this all-new hour of stand-up, Jeff takes aim at every moving target he can lay his sights on–from the perils and pitfalls of marriage–“Rule 1 of marriage: If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy”–through the aging process–“Men aren’t losing hair; it’s just going in and coming out someplace else”–to his popular insights on what it takes to make a redneck–“Sophisticated people invest their money in stock portfolios; rednecks invest in money commemorative plates.” It’s Jeff Foxworthy at his most hilarious. He’s outrageous, outspoken, and in case you haven’t noticed, Totally Committed!

Sunday, November 11

6:30 p.m. – 7 p.m. ET/PT – Comedy Now! – Miller Crosby (R)

Originally from Ottawa, Miller Crosby has studied improvisation, acting, clown and mask, bouffon, creative writing and tap. One of Canada’s top stand-up comics, her dry wit and droll delivery makes Miller’s act a treat for all thinking comedy fans. Her take on the workplace, her large family and her relationships have made her a favourite at comedy clubs throughout the country. With television performances on Comics!, She’s So Funny, Adventured in Comedy, The Dish Show and Bedtime With Brent Butt, Miller has become the one people in television go to for a guaranteed funny appearance.

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – Drawn Together – “Unrestrainable Trainable”

After mistaking him for a Hasidic Jew, Clara shoves Wooldoor into the pool and almost drowns him. She reluctantly nurses him back to health, but after being praised for doing so she comes to relish the attention and starts plotting to keep Wooldoor incapacitated.

Monday, November 12

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Live at Gothman

Robert Schimmel hosts a night of stand-up from the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Featured comedians this week include Julian McCullough, Gerard Guillory, Doug Mellard, Cristela Alonzo, Ryan Belleville and Tom Segura.

Tuesday, November 13

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “Stretchy Face”

The DBC crew has to deal with an unhappy and lonely client and a prostitute.

Wednesday, November 14

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Jon Dore Television Show – “STD”

Jon has a horrible nightmare and thinks he has contracted a sexually transmitted disease. In this touching episode, Jon gets tested for various “wang” ailments, tells his partners about his condition and puts on a play in which he portrays a penis. This thought provoking and poignant episode gives us all something to think about and teaches an important lesson about the perils of live theatre.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

The first Latino Super-Hero makes his way onto the screen he is…Beaner Man! Then Carlos talks with some friends about jobs they should never have.

Thursday, November 15

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Keys to the VIP

Rob Cavaliere (Plumber, 23) and Justin Rego (Sales Manage, 23) compete in three hilarious rounds of pick-up challenges to win a VIP nightclub experience.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Program – “Made to Border”

Sarah fires her maid, Dora, believing that she has stolen her beloved Hamburglar doll. When her life slips into filthy disarray, Sarah goes to Mexico to get her maid back, but Dora has since gained unexpected power.

Friday, November 16

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “Le Petit Tourette”

After seeing a kid with Tourette’s Syndrome at the toy store, Cartman becomes obsessed with it. He finds out that with Tourette’s, he can say whatever he wants without consequence. Naturally, he calls Dateline so he can get on National TV and take full advantage of his new found life.

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – Good Morning World – **PREMIERE**

In week one, the spunky duo introduce their daily ritual “What’s In This Mug” (surprise contents include Banana Yogurt, Bong Water and Gin), Allister instructs viewers in how to conduct a bi-annual umbrella check-up and Andy demonstrates how to enjoy donuts disguised as bran muffins. To cap the week off Andy and Allister provide tips on putting together a successful Olympic bid.

Saturday, November 17

8 – 8:30 p.m. ET/PT – Corner Gas – “Buzz Driver”

Oscar becomes a school bus driver, and sets so many rules that the kids aren’t the only ones having trouble keeping them straight. Hank talks Lacey into letting him advertise The Ruby; Wanda gets hooked on a new energy drink.

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – John Pinette: I’m Starvin’! (R)

With 18 sold out performances in record-breaking time and standing ovations every night, John Pinette’s one-man show was the most successful event of its kind in Just For Laughs Festival history. He recently sold-out in Toronto and will be taking his show to Ottawa and Halifax this March. His 90-minute special, I’m Starvin’!, shot at the 2006 Just For Laughs Festival, explores the little things in life that cause him to lose his cherub-like demeanour. Pinette’s self-deprecating humour focuses on his hilarious Broadway experience singing and dancing in drag, his battle with weight issues and his aversion to exercise. He is to date THE most requested performer in Just For Laughs history. Pinette is also currently touring with Just For Laughs.

Sunday, November 18

6:30 p.m. – 7 p.m. ET/PT – Comedy Now! – Darryl Purvis (R)

The Nova Scotia-born funny man has had dozens of appearances on National TV and radio and always makes it look easy. Purvis has some of the sharpest sarcasm and satire around.

One of the first-rate, young joke writers on the Canadian comedy scene, Darryl Purvis has the ability to poke fun at the unsuspecting characters and absurd subjects that cross his path and has some of the sharpest sarcasm and satire around. Purvis is the kind of comic you’d welcome at your table for coffee or a pint. Through his act and stage persona, Purvis radiates a clever blend of intelligence, insight, charm and warmth – all wrapped up in a down-home, east-coast sensibility that’s embracing an urban hipness.

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – Drawn Together – “N.R.A.Y Ray”

After the house is robbed, Captain Hero decides to get a gun for protection. But things get out of hand when Hero starts hunting with assault weapons. Adorable little Bambi convinces Hero to stop hunting deer with such violent weapons. Hero decides to rid the world of all assault weapons, leaving Earth vulnerable to the attacking deer! In the mean time, Foxxy hides her thieving grandson Ray Ray in the walls of the Drawn Together house to hide him from the police. Stuck in the walls, Ray Ray spies on the housemates and ends up falling in love with the fattest woman with the biggest ass. Toot. Can her huge ass save the housemates from the attacking deer?

Monday, November 19

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Live at Gothman

Jim Breuer hosts a night of stand-up from the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Featured comedians this week include Gerry Dee, John Ramsey, Pete Dominick, Freddy Lockhart, Lisa DeLarios and Bryan Callen.

Tuesday, November 20

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “The Gift”

After a suggestion by Luis, Tim starts to think that he is able to paint the faces of recently departed people, so both of them try to make money with that “gift”. Meanwhile, Sam wants to give a homeless guy a chance to earn money.

Wednesday, November 21

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Jon Dore Television Show – “Smoking”

He has to quit and that’s all there is to it. Jon tries everything to get off the smokes – many patches, boxes of gum and hypnotism. Nothing seems to work. Jon interviews a four year old about giving up the soother and blankie and paints a portrait of a naked man with a vase to keep his mind off of tobacco. Then, in a stirring and inspiring turn, Jon conquers his enemy. Maybe.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

It’s highlights from Season 3 with original introductions by Carlos.

Thursday, November 22

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Keys to the VIP

Mike D’Urzo (Magician, 23) and Jason Downey (Fitness Model/Stripper, 28) compete in three hilarious rounds of pick-up challenges to win a VIP nightclub experience.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Program – “Bored of the Rings” (R)

Authorities take Sarah’s dog Doug away when she is witnessed licking his hindquarters. Distraught, Sarah goes on a quest to redeem herself.

Friday, November 23

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “More Crap”

Randy Marsh becomes a local hero in South Park after the guys at the bar see the size of his latest crap. After some talking with the guys, Randy believes he could be a contender for the World Record. But is there someone else who wants it more?

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – Good Morning World

In week two, Allister demonstrates how to make a delicious breakfast pizza complete with tomato sauce, eggs, bacon and yogurt and Andy shows us how to get in shape by mock bowling. To cap the week off Andy gets a makeover.

Saturday, November 24

8 – 8:30 p.m. ET/PT – Corner Gas – “Classical Gas”

Brent is suprised to meet a member of the Leroy clan that he didn’t even know existed. Wanda finds that she needs some help from an unexpected source in order to prove her abilities in math. Lacey makes some additions to the menu at The Ruby, much to Davis’s delight.

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Legends: Rodney Dangerfield **PREMIERE**

The king of one-liners gets his due respect with Legends: Rodney Dangerfield. This documentary special chronicles the life of the comedy superstar from the pros he inspired along the way. “Legends” features clips from his classic concerts, appearances on “The Ed Sullivan Show,” rare interview footage and tributes from an all-star line up of Dangerfield’s comedy friends including Roseanne Barr, Sandra Bernhard, Susie Essman, Jeff Foxworthy, Robert Klein, Jay Leno, Bill Maher, Norm MacDonald, Anne Meara, Bill Murray, Chris Rock, Ray Romano, Bob Saget, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Stiller and many others.

Sunday, November 25

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – Drawn Together – “Lost in Parking Space, Part 1”

Clara annoys her housemates by preaching about the upcoming rapture. When her housemates head off to the mall, Clara mistakenly thinks they’ve been taken off to heaven. In the mean time, the other housemates get themselves trapped in a compact parking space in the mall with little or no means of escape.

6:30 p.m. – 7 p.m. ET/PT – Comedy Now! – Chuck Bryn (R)

In 1994, Chuck Byrn performed for the first time on amateur night at a local comedy club in Vancouver. That was all it took. After two years of working steadily in Western Canada and building his act and improv skills, Chuck packed up the U-Haul and moved to Toronto and within a year was headlining across the country. Chuck’s stand-up act has something for everybody. He is comfortable talking about any subject and prefers to mix his style. Observational humour, straight joke telling, one-liners, filth, fluff, insight and stories based both in fantasy and reality, all have a place in his show. The audience is also one of Chuck’s favourite tools to use when on stage. Chuck has also worked on a feature film, had numerous television appearances and has worked on commercials for both the Canadian and U.S. markets.

Monday, November 26

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Live at Gothman

Jeffrey Ross hosts a night of stand-up from the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Featured comedians this week include Michael Kosta, Julie Goldman, Dan Boulger, Eric Andre, John Hoogasian and Brian Scolaro.

Tuesday, November 27

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “Sam’s Back”

Sam cannot watch over the shop due to a breakdancing accident, that leaves him incapacitated.

Wednesday, November 28

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

The winner of the “So You Think You Can Rant” challenge is announced. The Arab store clerk Punji returns and Bill Clinton as the “First Man” as seen through the eyes of Carlos.

Thursday, November 29

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Keys to the VIP

Dustin Azadi (Creative Advertisin, 21) and Jason DoPaco (Nightclub Promoter, 22) compete in three hilarious rounds of pick-up challenges to win a VIP nightclub experience.

Thursday, November 29 (cont’d)

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Program – “Joan of Arf” (R)

Sarah is tired of being woken up by church bells every Sunday morning, and goes to the church to express her outrage. Upon leaving, she is approached by several kind women who express their own frustrations with the church. Sarah joins their organization to become their most passionate recruit, unaware that they are a radical anti-abortion group.

Friday, November 30

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “Imaginationland”

A bet revolving around Cartman seeing a leprechaun is only the start of trouble when the boys find themselves with the entirety of the world’s imagination laid out in front of them. But when a terrorist group attacks Imaginationland, the U.S. Government is eager to find Stan & Kyle.

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – Good Morning World

In week three, Allister instructs viewers how to teach their kids about terrorism by making them feel terror, Andy gives us some work-out tips with another editions of “Peppers Pumpers” and the guys demonstrate the art of “sparring.”

Hot guest stars, environmentally friendly storylines and a crime crossover fill CTV’s primetime schedule, jam-packed with new episodes this November. Programming highlights include:

  • Canadian Kari Matchett (Invasion, Plague City) guest stars as a new attending in ER (Nov. 1)
  • Oprah’s trainer Bob Greene drops by Canada AM (Nov. 2)
  • Cold Case celebrates its 100th episode (Nov. 4)
  • The five-time Emmy Award-winning series The Amazing Race returns for a twelfth season (Nov. 4)
  • Canada AM’s Marci Ien sits down with Canadian musician Anne Murray (Nov. 5)
  • Canada’s Doug Hicton competes in Jeopardy’s annual Tournament of Champions (Nov. 5 – 16)
  • Seamus O’Regan hosts Canada’s most prestigious literary event, The Scotiabank Giller Prize (Nov. 7)
  • eTalk features complete coverage of The Giller Prize (Nov. 7)
  • The investigators of CSI and Without a Trace team up to solve a “crossover” case (Nov. 8 and 9)
  • Canada’s Leslie Hope (24) and Dean Cain (Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) guest star in CSI: Miami (Nov. 12)
  • Canadian David Sutcliffe (Gilmore Girls) pays a visit to the Oceanside Wellness Center in Private Practice (Nov. 14)
  • Jamie Kennedy (The Jamie Kennedy Experiment) guest stars in Criminal Minds (Nov. 14)
  • Sara (Jorja Fox) bids farewell to Grissom and the CSI team (Nov. 15)
  • The Naked Chef, Jamie Oliver comes to Canada AM to talk about his new show Cook with Jamie (Nov. 16)
  • The documentary Suicide Tourist, gives viewers a look at the only organization in the world that provides assisted suicides (Nov. 24)