October 2007

Friday Nights Rock with The Next Great American Band, Premiering October 19
on A-Channel

-Two-Hour Series Premiere followed by MuchMoreMusic Live: James Blunt –

The Next Great American Band strums its way into A-Channel’s Friday night line-up with a special two-hour premiere, Friday, Oct. 19 at 8 p.m. ET/PT, followed by the encore presentation of MuchMoreMusic Live: James Blunt at 10 p.m. ET/PT on A-Channel (visit achannel.ca to confirm local broadcast times). The series continues its take-over of Friday night with two additional, special two-hour performance episodes on Friday, Oct. 26 and Nov. 2 at 8 p.m. ET/PT. Beginning Friday, Nov. 9, The Next Great American Band will air in its regular one-hour timeslot of 8 – 9 p.m. ET/PT.

Hosted by Dominic Bowden (New Zealand Idol), The Next Great American Band takes the musical reality genre to a whole new performance level with a mission to find undiscovered groups. Singer/songwriter John Rzeznik (The Goo Goo Dolls), legendary percussionist and performer Sheila E. (The Glamorous
Life, A Love Bizarre) and Australian TV personality Ian “Dicko” Dickson (Australian Idol) will serve as judges for the series from the producers of mega-hit phenomenon, American Idol.

From the auditions featured in the October 19 premiere episode, judges Rzeznik, Sheila E. and “Dicko” will narrow down the hopefuls to 12 semi-finalist bands who will perform weekly in front of a live studio audience. From hair bands to hip-hop, classic rockers to country crooners, every genre of music will be represented as the bands perform the varied styles from week to week. Then it’s up to the viewers to determine with their votes which band will secure a contract with 19 Recordings and the
title of The Next Great American Band.






Filmmaker blogs, web forums, photos, videos at www.globaltv.com/globalcurrents.

(Vancouver, BC – October 4, 2007) Global Television is pleased to present an all-new season of the critically acclaimed “Global Currents” documentary series.

Premiering October 13th at 10 p.m., each weekly, one-hour, independently-produced documentary features the talents of Canada’s best socio-political, environmental, humanist and scientific documentary filmmakers.

Gemini Award-nominated, “Global Currents” reflect character-driven stories about socially relevant issues important to all Canadians. Documentaries in this strand were selected by Global Television for their unique content and distinctly Canadian point of view.

“Global Currents” Fall 2007 Season Premieres Schedule:

October 13 – Death In The Forest
October 20 – Stolen Sisters
October 27 – The Bully’s Mark
November 3 – Sabrina’s Law
November 10 – Time Bombs
November 17 – Fatherhood Dreams

*Broadcast schedules are subject to change.

Global Currents is also introducing a new online blog on its website where independent filmmakers will provide commentary on each of their documentaries. The site will also host a series of web forums for viewers to discuss major topics covered by the documentaries. All these plus photos and video clips can be found at www.globaltv.com/globalcurrents.

Fall 2007 Season Documentaries:

Death In The Forest – Written and directed by Vancouver-based Gordon McLennan, “Death in the Forest” examines the dangers of the logging industry in British Columbia through the eyes of ‘tree fallers,’ who were once proud icons of the great north woods. This documentary explores how one of Canada’s most lucrative industries is also one of the most deadly. It calls attention to safety hazards caused by cutbacks and deregulation, and the consequences of the increasing pressures individual loggers face from forestry companies.

Stolen Sisters – Directed and produced by Saskatoon-based Antonio Hrynchuk, “Stolen Sisters” investigates the increasing number of missing and murdered Aboriginal women in Canada – as many as 500 women in the last 20 years. Based on a report of the same name issued by Amnesty International, indigenous women in Canada are five times more likely to die as a result of violence than women of any other ethnicity. This documentary follows the trials and tribulations of Aboriginal families trying to find their missing loved ones, and the rising tensions that exist between law enforcement and Aboriginal communities.

The Bully’s Mark – Written and directed by Vancouver-based Helen Slinger, “The Bully’s Mark” explores the long-term psychological effects of school-age bullying and follows Erin Thomson on an odyssey back into the darkness of her grade eight year. The journey home to face her bullies, and the friends who deserted her, parallels the equally-intimate bullying stories of today – some of which make Erin’s harassment pale in comparison. With the advent of technology and online communications, these tools become a bully’s weapon, further aggravating a problem that many anti-bullying programs have been unable to solve.

Sabrina’s Law – Directed and produced by Winnipeg-based Barry Lank, “Sabrina’s Law” is about a young, energetic and ambitious girl named Sabrina Shannon whose tragic death from anaphylactic shock inspired a law named in her honour to protect other children. Sabrina’s mother, Sara, promised her daughter that she would help make a difference and does so by sharing Sabrina’s story with the rest of the world.

Time Bombs – Directed and produced by Montreal-based Guylaine Maroist and Eric Ruel, “Time Bombs” focuses on Canadian war veterans who were sent to Nevada on a top secret mission in the 1950s. What they didn’t realize was these soldiers were deliberately used as guinea pigs in a nuclear test program for the Cold War: Operation Plumbbob. Years later, at a time when nuclear tests are being conducted again by powerful nations, these war veterans are sharing how they were deliberately exposed to nuclear radiation and are now fighting the government for recognition and compensation.

Fatherhood Dreams – Directed and produced by Vancouver-based Julia Ivanova, this documentary explores the divide between sceptics and supporters of gay couples as parents. Some Canadians are uncomfortable with the concept of gay male couples raising children. Many think these children may be “different” or at the very least, disadvantaged. Fatherhood Dreams delves into the reality of alternative families and their struggle for equality.

About Global Currents
Global National’s Kevin Newman together with Global Television and CanWest MediaWorks present Global Currents, a critically acclaimed, unique series of hour-long, independently produced documentaries. The documentaries represent the talents of Canada’s best socio-political, environmental, humanist and scientific documentary filmmakers. www.globaltv.com/globalcurrents.





On Wednesday, October 10th, Global News Ontario will provide viewers with comprehensive coverage of the Ontario provincial elections in a special broadcast, “Ontario Votes 2007: Our Team. Your Decision.” from 8:30 p.m. until at least 11:30 p.m. ET. Global News will have the full story behind the results, not just on how Ontario voted but also why.

Led by anchor Leslie Roberts, the Global News team will provide up-to-the-second ballot results, in-depth analysis and insight on the major issues. Anchors Carolyn MacKenzie and Alan Carter will cover off results from the 416 and 905 areas, while Zuraidah Alman and Sean O’Shea will provide results from the other regions of the province.

In addition, panellists joining political analyst Sean Mallen in-studio to provide commentary will include:

Warren Kinsella, Liberal advisor and political consultant
Marilyn Churley, one of Ontario’s most prominent environmentalists and NDP member
Catherine Clark, political expert and television host of CPAC’s “Beyond Politics”

Global News correspondents will be reporting live and on location at the main party headquarters and key ridings across the province.

P-A-R-TAY! The Comedy Network Celebrates 10 Years Well Wasted With “Dime Bag Comedy Tour,” Beginning Oct. 16

— Tour lands in Toronto, St. John’s, Halifax, Calgary and Vancouver —

— TCN searches for October birthday babies to party with on tour —
— Award-winning comic Jon Dore hits the road to host all five party destinations —

Toronto, Ontario (October 3, 2007) – Happy Birthday to us! The Comedy Network turns 10 on October 17 and to celebrate we’re going on tour! First we’re going to roll out the stained red carpet at a star-studded bender in Toronto, October 16. Then we’re going to nurse our wicked hangovers, pack our bags and hit the road to celebrate ten years of on-air yuks. The Comedy Network’s 10th Anniversary Dime Bag Comedy Tour goes west to Vancouver and Calgary before heading east to kiss some cod fish and drink beer in St. John’s and Halifax.

This over-the-top, carnival-like, cross-country comedy tour, will touch down on the following dates:

· Toronto: Tuesday, October 16; John Bassett Theatre
· Vancouver: November, TBC
· Calgary: Friday, November 16: Quincy’s
· St.John’s: Thursday, November 22: venue TBC
· Halifax: Friday, November 23: Casino Nova Scotia

Five birthday parties feels a little greedy (just a bit), so The Comedy Network is looking for people to celebrate with while on the road. Obviously, these peeps should have something in common with The Comedy Network…like a birthday in October. To qualify, petitioners with an October birthday and who are over the legal drinking age in their home province, should enter to win on thecomedynetwork.ca.

The winning petitioner, chosen via random draw, will receive a special birthday party care of The Comedy Network. This includes VIP seating for the winner and 10 friends, transportation to and from the event, a flashy birthday present and a few cocktails to soothe their throats after all that laughing! The contest opens October 18 and closes one week prior to each tour city.

Just to share the love, The Comedy Network will award 10 second place prizes, also chosen via random draw. Winning petitioners will receive two tickets to the show. Additional tickets will be giving away via radio stations in the tour cities, so stay tuned!

The Dime Bag Comedy Tour will be hosted by comic Jon Dore, who will give us a big birthday present October 17 when his new show The Jon Dore Television Show premieres on The Comedy Network. The free-wheeling comedian won the award for Best Newcomer at the 2006 Canadian Comedy Awards and recently performed at the inaugural Just For Laughs Toronto, an event which drew crowds of up to 20,000 to Hogtown’s Dundas Square. Headliners for the show will be announced in the coming weeks. They’re good. We promise.

The Comedy Network’s 10th Anniversary season will be filled with all the laughs, wackiness and mischief you’ve come to expect…and then some. Watch for the outrageous new original series The Jon Dore Television Show, a new season from everyone’s favourite potty-mouth Sarah Silverman in The Sarah Silverman Program, more games of seduction from the playas in a new season of Keys to the VIP and the crew in Dog River, SK return to Corner Gas. New imports include American Body Shop, Live at Gotham and Man Stroke Woman. As well, new episodes from The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report, South Park Uncensored, The Simpsons, Mind of Mencia, Surburban Shootout, The Simple Life, Drawn Together and King of The Hill will keep viewers chuckling until its time to celebrate our 11th anniversary season.

Canada’s first-and-only specialty comedy service, The Comedy Network airs comedy of all kinds, 24-hours-a-day, across multiple platforms, including a revolutionary broadband service at thecomedynetwork.ca. Launched in October 1997, The Comedy Network broadcasts, uncut and uncensored, an eclectic mix of scripted, stand-up, sketch, improv, and animated comedy – as well as topical comedy talk shows, game shows and classic situation comedies. Offering an unrivalled slate of original Canadian programming, The Comedy Network reinvests nearly 50 per cent of its revenues into home-grown productions. The Comedy Network, a division of CTV Television Inc., is available to nearly 6 million households across the country. Visit The Comedy Network’s website at thecomedynetwork.ca.

“CityLine” with Marilyn Denis

Program Listings for Week of:
October 8th – October 12th, 2007

Broadcast Schedule:
10:00am ET on Citytv Toronto (3:00pm ET Encore Presentation)
10:00am PT on Citytv Vancouver (4:00pm PT Encore Presentation)
10:00am MT on Citytv Calgary and Edmonton
10:00am CT on Citytv Winnipeg (3:00pm CT Encore Presentation)

Monday, October 8th – Fashion Panel (*ENCORE PRESENTATION)
“CityLine’s” Fashion Panel brings in Stylists Lynn Spence and Sandra Pittana, who take a look at various Fall trends and reveal how you can customize, to make them both age and body appropriate.

Tuesday, October 9th – Special Guests: Colin McAllister & Justin Ryan
Lots of laughs are promised on this edition of “CityLine”, as Scotland’s dynamic design duo, Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan, join Marilyn Denis for a full hour! Find out what the boys have been up to since their last visit, as they fill us in on their new Canadian show (“Home Heist”), before cooking up one of their favourite dishes.

Wednesday, October 10th – Parenting Special
“CityLine” talks to Therapist Joe Rich and Dr. Nancy Durand on family rules regarding technology and hypnosis during childbirth. Plus, renowned cookbook Author & Chef, Rose Reisman, will be cooking up Lemon Chicken with a nutty coating.

Thursday, October 11th – Home Day
Interior Designers, Kimberley Seldon and Brian Gluckstein reveal how small spaces can still look spectacular! From a small kitchen and bathroom renovation, to a small condo makeover, these designers reveal big ideas on how to make use of your furniture in size-challenged spaces!

Friday, October 12th – Fashion Friday
Stylist Lynn Spence returns with fashionable Fall looks from Le Château and Vaughan Mills Shopping Centre. Plus, we take-a-look at the latest and hottest in new Fall cosmetic products, before we reveal another fabulous makeover – and this time we hand-picked a mayor of a major city!

For more information please visit: www.cityline.ca.

October 2, 2007

As the leaves change and the weather cools off, Canada’s Number #1 Prime-Time schedule heats up the airwaves with new episodes this October on CTV

From the touch of life to brand-new gossip, not-to-miss episodes and documentaries are invading CTV’s primetime lineup October 3 to 21. Programming highlights include:

Private Practice moves to its regular timeslot at 8 p.m. (Oct. 3)
Gideon (Mandy Patinkin) goes missing in Criminal Minds (Oct. 3)
The CTV Original Documentary Welcome to Canadaville examines how a well-intentioned initiative lead by Canadian businessman Frank Stronach created a fascinating and controversial social experiment in a small town (Oct. 6)
Janet Wright (Corner Gas) guest stars in Whistler (Oct. 6)
Law & Order: Criminal Intent returns for a seventh season (Oct. 7)
Karen, Hank and Davis take up a new form of exercise in a brand-new episode of Corner Gas (Oct. 8)
eTalk kicks off its Giller Prize coverage with coverage of the nominees (Oct. 10)
Former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien chats with Canada AM (Oct. 15)
Aidan Quinn (The Book of Daniel, Legends of the Fall) guest stars in a new episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (Oct. 16)

Below is a chronological listing of October 3 to 21 programming highlights. All programming is subject to change (all times ET; visit CTV.ca to confirm local broadcast times):

Wednesday, October 3
6:30 a.m. – Canada AM
Elle magazine unveils the winners of its consumer beauty product awards.

8 p.m. – Private Practice – “In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor”
Cooper hires an “entertainer” named Ginger for Sam as a way to jump start his new life as a single person, causing not only Naomi to become jealous, but Addison as well, after Ginger seeks Pete’s help with a medical condition. At the same time the Oceanside Wellness Group doctors and Saint Ambrose Hospital Chief of Staff Dr. Charlotte King work together to find the cause of a baby’s illness.

9 p.m. – Criminal Minds – “In Name and Blood”
Hotch requests a transfer, Prentiss resigns and Gideon is missing, leaving the team three people short as they track a serial killer in Milwaukee who abducts women in very public places.

10 p.m. – CSI: New York – “The Deep”
A body found in the New York harbor leads Mac and the CSIs to a hidden treasure and an assassination plot on a diplomatic convoy headed to the U.N.

Thursday, October 4
7 p.m. – ER – “In a Different Light”
Morretti (guest star Stanley Tucci) continues to institute new measures that cause many of the ER doctors to despise him. When a teacher and student come into the ER after a car crash, Morris (Scott Grimes) and Sam (Linda Cardellini) are shocked when they find out why they were together. Abby (Maura Tierney) treats a patient with a simple stomachache only to find that he has a much bigger problem on his hands. Meanwhile, Neela (Parminder Nagra) can’t wait to get released from the hospital.

8 p.m. – CSI – “A La Cart”
The CSI team investigates two unusual cases, one involving the suspicious death of a go-cart racer who took his hobby to the highway and paid the price with his life, and a murder at a hip new restaurant where patrons dine in the dark.

9 p.m. – Grey’s Anatomy – “Love/Addiction”
The residents and interns treat the victims of a massive explosion at an apartment building, while Alex investigates the cause of the accident, Mama Burke returns to collect her son’s things just as Cristina trades her wedding presents in exchange for surgeries. Lexie tries to have a heart-to-heart with an unwilling Meredith, and while Callie is overwhelmed with her duties as Chief Resident, Bailey searches for an outlet for her pent-up leadership skills.

10 p.m. – Big Shots – “Tall, Dark and Hairless”
James decides to fight for his marriage just as suspicions surface regarding the death of his former boss; Duncan attempts to seduce a beautiful reporter in hopes of killing a career-ending expose on him; Karl’s wife, Wendy, demands Marla join them in couples therapy; and Brody takes drastic action to spice up sex with his wife.

Friday, October 5
8 p.m. – Ghost Whisperer – “Don’t Try This at Home”
The urban legend “Bloody Mary” becomes a reality for the students at Rockland University, causing Melinda to search for answers.

9 p.m. – Moonlight – “Out of the Past”
When a convicted murderer from Mick’s past is released from prison, Mick must face one of his worst fears – having the truth of his immortal identity revealed to Beth.

10 p.m. – Without a Trace – “Clean up”
When an 18-year-old girl and her father go missing, the team wonders if the father’s line of work – cleaning up after crime scenes – is somehow connected to their disappearance.

Saturday, October 6
7 p.m. – CTV Original Documentary – Welcome to Canadaville
CTV examines how a well-intentioned initiative lead by Canadian businessman Frank Stronach, to help displaced survivors of Hurricane Katrina, created a fascinating and controversial social experiment in a small American town.

9 p.m. – Whistler – “Blindside”
Quinn puts university on hold on a gamble to make the Village snowboard team and patch things up with Carrie only to find out that neither is going to be as easy as he thought. Janet Wright (Corner Gas) guest stars.

Sunday, October 7
1 p.m. – NFL – Seattle Seahawks @ Pittsburgh Steelers
Available on all CTV stations West of (and including) Ontario and CTV HD West

1 p.m. – NFL – Cleveland Browns @ New England Patriots
Available on all CTV stations East of Ontario and CTV HD East

7 p.m. – Law & Order: Criminal Intent – “Amends” – SEASON PREMIERE
Eames must reinvestigate her husband’s murder after his former partner is killed.

8 p.m. – Cold Case – “Running Around”After languishing in the Jane Doe category for a year until her sister came to look for her, the team re-opens the case of an Amish teen-aged girl who was murdered just weeks after leaving home for Philadelphia to experience rumspringa.

9 p.m. – Desperate Housewives – “Smiles of a Summer Night”Lynette kicks Tom out of her chemotherapy sessions, Susan is mistaken for a stripper and Bree attempts to steal a prize-winning recipe.

10 p.m. – Dirty Sexy Money – “The Lions”
Nick tries to find out who killed his father with the help of airplane mechanic and Darling aficionado Norman Exley (Gill Gayle). Juliet sulks in her new luxury hotel digs and refuses to participate in an important high-end photo shoot for the family involving trained lions. Tripp pressures Patrick to announce he’s running for the Senate, even as his son continues to woo his secret lover, the transgendered Carmelita (Candis Cayne). Jeremy strikes up a secret romance with Juliet’s biggest nemesis, notorious celebutante Natalie Kimpton (Tamara Feldman), and Brian drops his illegitimate son in Nick’s lap.

Monday, October 8
8 p.m. – Dancing With the Stars
The stars compete in the third round of the competition.

9:30 p.m. – Corner Gas – “Spin Cycle”Karen remembers what it feels like to be a school kid again when she, Hank, and Davis take up a new form of exercise.

10 p.m. – CSI: Miami – “Inside Out”Horatio searches for his son after he goes missing during a deadly prison break.

Tuesday, October 9
7 p.m. – Gossip Girl – “Bad News Blair”
Blair (Leighton Meester) is thrilled when her mother, Eleanor (Margaret Colin), chooses her to be the new face of her clothing line. However, Blair’s happiness soon turns to feelings of betrayal and jealousy when Serena (Blake Lively) moves into the spotlight and Blair finds herself back in Serena’s shadow. Meanwhile, Serena and Dan (Penn Badgley) are reminded once again that they come from two very different worlds, and Nate (Chace Crawford) and Chuck (Ed Westwick) indulge in a boys’ weekend to blow off steam after Ivy Week.

8 p.m. – Pushing Daisies – “Dummy”When an automotive expert is found dead (ironically enough) after a strange hit-and-run accident, Ned suspects there’s more to the story, especially when he finds out the deceased worked for a company about to launch an experimental car. Meanwhile, Chuck wants some answers about how Ned brought her back to life.

9 p.m. – Dancing With the Stars
Another couple is sent packing in tonight’s results show.

10 p.m. – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – “Impulsive”When 15 year-old Shane Mills (guest star Kyle Gallner) is diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease, he claims he caught it from his teacher, Sarah Trent (guest star Melissa Joan Hart) who supposedly seduced him. Sarah argues Shane raped her. Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler search further into both Sarah and Shane’s lives and uncover some dark secrets.

Wednesday, October 10
7 p.m. – eTalk
eTalk kicks off its Giller Prize coverage with reactions from the short-listed authors for Canada’s most prestigious literary prize.

8 p.m. – Private Practice – “In Which Addison Finds the Magic”Addison must turn to Pete for help in treating a newlywed couple who can’t consummate their marriage (no matter how much they try), while Violet tries to convince her patient to leave his wife, despite her own inability to move on from her ex. Cooper investigates why his patients, four sisters, are all suffering from a mysterious illness.

9 p.m. – Criminal Minds – “Scared to Death”Hotchner and the team track down a serial killer who exploits his role as a psychiatrist to find out his victims worst fears, then uses that fear as a means to kill.

10 p.m. – CSI: New York – “You Only Die Once”Manhattan’s wealthy are being robbed and all clues point to a fancy vehicle that has Mac and Stella puzzled.

Thursday, October 11
7 p.m. – ER – “Officer Down”When a teen wrestler comes in the ER with severe vomiting, Pratt quickly tries to solve the problem only to find out that the cause is much more serious. While working in the ICU, Gates tries to help a young kid with a deadly disease. Meanwhile, Abby and Morris jump in to save two volunteer cops brought in with gunshot wounds.

8 p.m. – CSI – “Go To Hell”The CSI team investigates the murder of an entire family, except for one daughter who supposedly is possessed by the devil.

9 p.m. – Grey’s Anatomy – “Let the Truth Sting”The new interns are dazzled by the skill level of fellow intern George, while Lexie helps keep his “repeater” status a secret; Meredith half-heartedly helps Lexie with her first emergency patient; Sloan and Richard attempt a radical, new surgery to save a woman’s ability to speak; and George is compelled to tell Callie of his past indiscretion with Izzie.

10 p.m. – Big Shots – “The Good, The Bad and The Really Ugly”James has difficulty jumping back into the dating scene; Duncan receives news that his name appears in Dontrelle’s “little black book” and seeks Brody’s help; Karl and Marla find out that a private investigator has given Wendy incriminating photographs; and Terrence, Duncan’s rival, offers Cameron a job at his company.

Friday, October 12
6:30 a.m. – Canada AM
Canada AM seeks advice from a Denim Diva to answer to the ultimate fashion question, “How can viewers find their perfect pair of jeans?”

8 p.m. – Ghost Whisperer – “Haunted Hero”Melinda helps an Iraq war veteran deal with the ghosts he’s brought back with him.

9 p.m. – Moonlight – “Dr. Feelgood”Still reeling from Mick’s revelation about his identity, a cautious Beth struggles as she helps him track down a blood-thirsty, renegade vampire who doesn’t know how to deal with his killer urges.

10 p.m. – Without a Trace – “Res Ipsa”The team investigates the disappearance of a grieving mother and tries to determine if she went missing while trying to find her son, whom she believed was tortured and possibly killed while doing volunteer work in Guatemala.

Saturday, October 13
9 p.m. – Whistler – “Hazed and Confused”Quinn tries not to get burned during Hell Week (the snowboard team’s hazing ritual) and tries to keep his cool when he discovers his mom’s secret affair with Derek.

Sunday, October 14
1 p.m. – NFL – game(s)

7 p.m. – Law & Order: Criminal Intent – “Courtship”
A corrupt judge’s wife is shot, and the suspects include a private investigator who doesn’t exactly follow the law and a couple in the middle of a bitter divorce.

8 p.m. – Cold Case – “Devil Music”
The team re-opens a 1953 murder case of a 19-year-old aspiring rock ‘n roll star when new evidence suggests that he was killed in his uncle’s five & dime shop and not behind the blues club where his body was found.

9 p.m. – Desperate Housewives – “The Game”
Bree informs the housewives of what she overheard in the Mayfair house, Stella makes some special brownies to help Lynette through chemotherapy, and Susan throws a charades party for the whole neighborhood.

10 p.m. – Dirty Sexy Money – “The Italian Banker”
Unbeknownst to Tripp, Nick finds himself in full damage control mode when a blackmailer surfaces and demands ransom for a sex tape featuring one of the Darlings. Meanwhile, Patrick is forced to break off his affair with Carmelita (Candis Cayne), plunging him into deep despair; Brian’s wife figures out that the “Swedish orphan” (actually Brian Jr.) he brought to live with them speaks English; and Jeremy struggles to keep his assignations with Juliet’s archenemy, Natalie (Tamara Feldman), a secret, but when both women show up at Patrick’s Senate campaign fundraiser, a red carpet catfight ensues.

Monday, October 15
6:30 a.m. – Canada AM
Former Prime Minister Jean Chrétien chats with Canada AM about the highs and lows of his political career as revealed in his recently published memoirs.

8 p.m. – Dancing With the Stars
The stars compete in the fourth round of the competition.

9:30 p.m. – Corner Gas – “Whiner Takes All”
A fun game of golf between Brent, Lacey and Hank turns into a round robin of aggravation.

10 p.m. – CSI: Miami – “Bang, Bang Your Debt”
While investigating the mysterious death of a college student in a car fire, the CSIs find evidence that Tim Speedle (Rory Cochrane) may still be alive.

Tuesday, October 16
7 p.m. – Gossip Girl – “Dare Devil”
New episode. No synopsis currently available.

8 p.m. – Pushing Daisies – “The Fun in Funeral”
Another strange death at the Schatz Funeral Home leads Ned back to the scene where he brought Chuck back to life. Meanwhile, Olive unwittingly becomes the messenger in Chuck’s plan to bring a little sunshine into the lives of Aunts Lily and Vivian via some anti-depressant laced pies.

9 p.m. – Dancing With the Stars
Another celebrity couple is sent home in tonight’s live results show.

10 p.m. – Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – “Savant”
Ben Nicholson (guest star Aidan Quinn) finds his wife Corrine (guest star Judy Kuhn) beaten into a coma, and the only witness is their mentally challenged daughter, Katie (guest star Paulina Gerzon). Because of Katie’s sensitive mental condition – the detectives are reluctant to have her testify. Detectives Olivia Benson, Elliot Stabler and Dr. Huang work with Katie, and begin to piece together the night of the beating and some of Corrine’s well-hidden secrets.

Wednesday, October 17
8 p.m. – Private Practice – “In Which Addison Has A Very Casual Get-Together”
Addison invites her fellow Oceanside Wellness co-workers to her house for a get-together, but no one RSVPs. The wife of Violet’s ex-boyfriend visits the wellness center for medical treatment and Violet is none too happy about it. Cooper counsels a young patient who is lovesick, and Sam appears on his first talk show promoting his self-help book.

9 p.m. – Criminal Minds – “Children of the Dark”
Hotchner and the team suspect that two suspects may be working together in a series of brutal home invasions and murders taking place in a Denver suburb.

10 p.m. – CSI: New York – “Time’s Up”
A dying man confesses to a murder 24 hours before it happens and Mac investigates the possibility of time travel.

Thursday, October 18
7 p.m. – ER – “Gravity”
County General is turned into a beauty parlor for the day when a gracious former patient decides to provide free beauty treatments. Abby is distraught when baby Joe is brought in after taking a serious fall off the jungle gym. Dr. Gates makes a baseball dream come true for a young boy with a terminal illness. Meanwhile, Dr. Pratt is trying to stick up for his brother but finds he is just making matters worse.

8 p.m. – CSI – “The Case of the Cross-Dressing Carp”
Grissom and his team discover a young man strangled to death by hanging, whose body looks like that of a woman.

9 p.m. – Grey’s Anatomy – “The Heart of the Matter”
The Chief’s wife, Adele, rushes their niece to Seattle Grace, the hospital where she once had her prom. Izzie reveals her feelings for George to a mutual friend, and the reaction is not what she expects. Derek teaches Cristina how to be a better teaching resident, and the world’s oldest living intern, Norman, misdiagnoses one of Meredith’s patients.

10 p.m. – Big Shots – “Three’s A Crowd”
James falls for a sexy consultant with plans to shake things up at Amerimart, much to Katie’s chagrin; Duncan struggles with his newfound monogamy to Lisbeth as Fashion Week approaches and old flings pay him a visit; Karl arranges a date for Marla with one of his company’s chemists at Wendy’s request; and Brody tries to track down Dontrelle’s black book before Terrence finds it and publishes Duncan’s indiscretion.

Friday, October 19
8 p.m. – Ghost Whisperer – “No Safe Place”
Attempting to help the victim of a stalker, Melinda uncovers several clues that ultimately put her own life in danger.

9 p.m. – Moonlight – “Fever”
Mick is injured in his search for a young woman who is believed to be hiding in the desert. But when the scorching sunlight depletes Mick’s vampiric ability to heal himself, Beth must rush to help him.

Saturday, October 20
9 p.m. – Whistler – “End Game”
Grappling with his jealousy over Carrie’s new relationship with Griff, Quinn spills an awkward truth. With Carrie and Griff on the outs, Quinn makes a play to get his girl back. Meanwhile, Ryan is seduced back into his old life when an old flame returns to town.

Sunday, October 21
1 p.m. – NFL – game(s)

7 p.m. – Law & Order: Criminal Intent
New episode. No synopsis currently available.

8 p.m. – Cold Case – “Thick as Thieves”
New episode. No synopsis currently available.

9 p.m. – Desperate Housewives – “If There’s Anything I Can’t Stand”
New episode. No synopsis currently available.

10 p.m. – Dirty Sexy Money – “The Chiavennasca”
At Tripp’s behest, Nick travels to a vineyard in Italy to meet with a spy who may know more about the death of Nick’s father. Nick appeases his wife Lisa’s annoyance with his focus on the Darlings by taking her with him. But their romantic idyll is broken — repeatedly — by Karen and Freddy, who decide to tag along everywhere. Letitia confirms to Tripp that she had been unfaithful to him throughout their marriage. Heartbroken, he becomes hell-bent on determining if all of his children are biologically his. Meanwhile, Jeremy struggles to keep his affair with Juliet’s archenemy a secret, and Brian Jr. needs his dad’s help to battle a bully at school.

Program Alert – October 1, 2007

The Comedy Network Gets all Shiny and New this October

The Comedy Network has got a whole whack ‘o new stuff to show off in October. Award-winning comic Jon Dore fearlessly throws himself in the line-of- fire as he sets out to correct his faults and make all his “wrongs” right again in The Comedy Network’s newest original program, The Jon Dore Television Show (Oct. 17). Foul-mouthed Sarah Silverman returns with more of her inappropriate antics in Season 2 of The Sarah Silverman Program (Oct. 11). See the sophomore crop of self-professed pick-up artists go head-to-head in Season 2 of Keys to the VIP (Oct. 25). We’ve also got series premieres of American Body Shop, Man Stroke Woman and stand-up show Live at Gotham as well as the Season 3 premieres of Drawn Together and Mind of Mencia. To close out the month, The Comedy Network will celebrate Halloween with classic “Treehouse of Horrors” episodes from The Simpsons and a Springfield Resurrected Marathon, featuring Simpsons episodes starring now-deceased guest stars such as Bob Denver, Johnny Cash and the marriage of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger.

On tap this month:

-South Park Season 11 – Monday thru Saturday at 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – UNCENSORED!

-American Body Shop – Tuesday, Oct. 2 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SERIES PREMIERE**

-Mind of Mencia Season 3 – Wednesday, Oct. 3 at 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – **SEASON PREMIERE**

-Man Stroke Woman – Tuesday, Oct. 9 at 10:30p.m. ET/PT – **SERIES PREMIERE**

-The Sarah Silverman Show Season 2 – Thursday, Oct. 11 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SEASON PREMIERE**

– Kathy Griffin: “Everyone Can Suck It” – Saturday, Oct.13 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SPECIAL PREMIERE**

-The Jon Dore Television Show – Wednesday, Oct. 17 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SERIES PREMIERE**

-Drawn Together Season 3 – Sunday, Oct. 21 at 12 a.m. ET/PT **SEASON PREMIERE**

-Live At Gotham – Monday, Oct. 22 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SERIES PREMIERE**

-Keys to the VIP Season 2 – Thursday, Oct. 25 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SEASON PREMIERE**

– Axis of Evil – Saturday, October 27 at 10 p.m. ET/PT – **SPECIAL PREMIERE**

Descriptions below. (R) indicates a rebroadcast. Programming subject to change.

Time zone airtimes as follows:

MT = PT + 1 hour

CT = PT + 2 hours

AT = ET + 1 hour

NFLD = ET + 1.5 hours

Monday, October 1

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Colonel Homer” (R)

Homer and Marge have a fight after attending a boring movie and Homer drives off angry. As he drives, he pulls up to a honky-tonk bar called Beer ‘N’ Brawl where he meets an aspiring country music singer named Lurleen Lumpkin. Struck by her talent and her beauty, Homer becomes her manager, securing her gigs and a record deal while at the same time fraying his relationship with Marge. Even though it’s clear that Lurleen is falling in love with Homer, he resists her come-ons and signs away Lurleen’s contract to another manager in order to be a better husband to Marge.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Punk’d (R)

Pitbull helps out at a turkey drive. Too Short finds himself in hot water at a charity car wash. Kelis learns that there is no such thing as fashionably late, especially when kids are involved.

Tuesday, October 2

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – ‘Black Widower” (R)

Selma decides to marry her prison pen-pal, Sideshow Bob. When he gets out of prison, he convinces the Simpson family that he has changed for the better, but Bart remains skeptical and is determined to find out what Sideshow Bob is really up to.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “Flamers” **SERIES PREMIERE**

With the insurance inspectors threatening to take away their license, Sam has to hurry and get the shop up to code. This isn’t an easy task with his stubborn miscreant employees. While Sam is struggling with the shop, Denise is hunting down car wrecks and planting sales material on the vehicles and their injured passengers.

Wednesday, October 3

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “The Otto Show” (R)

Bart goes with Milhouse to a Spinal Tap concert and decides he wants to become a rock star. Homer and Marge get him a guitar, which he doesn’t know how to play. When Otto plays it in the school bus, he enjoys it a little too much, and suddenly realizes that he is running late. He crashes the bus while taking a short cut to school and it is discovered that he doesn’t have a driver’s license, which costs him his job and his house. Bart lets Otto stay with the Simpsons, but when he gets on Homer’s nerves one too many times, he is kicked out of the house. When Otto returns to the DMV to retake the driving test, he tells Patty and Selma about his hatred for Homer. Hearing this, they automatically let him pass his test and he is given a second chance at being the bus driver.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia- **SEASON PREMIERE**

Carlos returns for season 3 and can’t wait to tackle events he missed while he was off air. He returns as the favorite foul mouthed children’s talk show host, Carlosaurus Rex, and sings his advise for confused kids everywhere.

Thursday, October 4

5:30 – 6 p.m. ET/PT – King of the Hill – “The Final Shinsult” (R)

When Cotton learns that the U.S. government is giving the artificial leg of General Santa Ana back to Mexico, he teams up with Dale to steal the leg from the Arlen Museum.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Bart’s Friend Falls in Love” (R)

Bart gets jealous and decides to do something about it, when he discovers that Milhouse has a girlfriend and suddenly doesn’t have as much time for him any more. Meanwhile Lisa worries about Homer’s weight and convinces Marge to order some subliminal weight loss tapes, instead Homer’s vocabulary improves dramatically when subliminal vocabulary tapes are mislabeled and sent on accident.

Friday, October 5

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – The Simple Life- “The Bowden Family”

Paris and Nicole throw surprise commitment ceremonies for unwed lesbian mothers.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons -“Brother Can you Spare Two Dimes?” (R)

Homer is first revealed to be impotent because of the nuclear plant, so Homer is rewarded with an award for “Excellence in the field of Excellence”. Homer’s half-brother Herb Powell returns, but this time not as a successful businessman. After Homer wrecked his car company, Herb has become a bum, but with a little help from Maggie, he thinks he has come up with a shoo-in invention that will put him back on top. Herb wants to build the first baby translator, a device that will interpret babies’ cries and mumbles into plain speech. Homer agrees to fund the research and when Herb’s business takes off, he buys the family gifts. Lisa gets a book-of-the-month membership, Bart gets a NRA membership, Maggie gets what the dog’s eating, Marge gets a new washer and dryer and Homer gets a vibrating chair.

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “Cartman Sucks”

Butters’ dad sends him off to special camp to “Pray the Gay Away” when he believes that his son is bi-curious after catching him in a compromising position with Cartman. Meanwhile, Cartman does his best to retrieve a photo of him in that compromising position before too many people find out about it.

Saturday, October 6

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – Blue Collar TV – “Naked”

Clothing is optional in this episode where the boys take a closer look at nakedness in “Real Bachelors” and “Rescue 911.” The redneck dictionary word of the week is “European” and comedian Ron White drops in for a visit.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Kamp Krusty” (R)

After making a deal with Homer to get good grades in school, Bart and Lisa go away to Kamp Krusty, “The Krustiest Place on Earth!” While they’re initially excited about their summer, they soon learn that Kamp Krusty is a run-down prison run by the tyrannical Mr. Black and his C.I.T. henchmen, Dolph, Kearney and Jimbo Jones. Worse yet, instead of sports and arts-and-crafts, the kids are expected to pass their days sewing counterfeit wallets. The only thing that gets Bart through this ordeal is the hope that Krusty himself will visit, but when that doesn’t happen, the kids lead a rebellion against Mr. Black and take over the camp. With Bart as their leader, the kids speak to the media and reveal what a sham Kamp Krusty is. Meanwhile, with Bart and Lisa away from home, Homer and Marge are getting in touch with their relationship. Homer feels so good, he’s even losing some weight and growing some hair. This all changes when he sees Bart on TV, condemning Krusty and his ramshackle camp. In the end, Krusty apologizes to the campers and takes them on a trip to Tijuana.

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Canadian Comedy Awards Presents: The Naughty Show

The Naughty Show is a 60-minute special of raucously raunchy and sublimely silly stand-up and sketch comedy by Canadian Comedy Award-winners and nominees. This special features no-holds-barred blue comedy by the likes of Nikki Payne (Comedy Inc), Pete Zedlacher (Video on Trial) and Jason Rouse (Comedy Now).

Sunday, October 7

9:00 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “A Streetcar Named Marge” (R)

Marge is cast in the role of Blanche DuBois in Oh! Streetcar, the musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire directed by the flamboyant Llewellyn Sinclair at the Springfield Community Center. Homer isn’t very supportive of Marge’s interest in acting, so she uses her anger towards him for inspiration in some of the play’s more emotional moments. Acting opposite Ned Flanders as Stanley Kowalski, Marge gets so absorbed in her role that at one point she nearly slashes Ned with a broken bottle. Meanwhile, Maggie has been placed in day care at the Ayn Rand School for Tots and leads a rebellion against the strict teachers. Watching Marge perform in the play, Homer is moved and realizes he should have been more supportive.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Comedy Network Presents- Manolis Zantanos

A 1/2 hour of Canadian laughs with talented comic Manolis Zantanos.

Monday, October 8

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Homer the Heretic” (R)

One Sunday morning, Homer decides that he’d rather sleep late than go to church. Marge is disappointed, but doesn’t argue with him. While home alone, Homer dances in his underwear, drinks waffle batter and loafs around watching TV. Having thoroughly enjoyed his morning, Homer decides to forgo church for good and start his own religion. Marge doesn’t approve, but that night Homer has a dream in which God visits him and expresses his acceptance of Homer’s new religion. While home on Sunday, worshipping in his own special way by reading Playdude and smoking cigars, Homer causes a fire that nearly destroys the house. Ned Flanders is the only one who can save Homer’s life, and after speaking with Reverend Lovejoy, Homer realizes that he should give up his religion and return to church.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Punk’d (R)

Aly and AJ learn that you shouldn?t ever feed the bears. WWE wrestler John Cena gets caught up in a funeral procession. Kerr Smith (Dawson’s Creek) learns that at the Punk’d Store, you break it you buy it.

Tuesday, October 9

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Lisa the Beauty Queen” (R)

To help Lisa get over her insecurities about her looks, Homer enters her into the Little Miss Springfield Pageant. At first, Lisa looks down on the event, but when she becomes first runner-up after Amber Dempsey, Lisa begins to like being a beauty queen. Soon thereafter, Amber is struck by lightning and Lisa is crowned the official Little Miss Springfield, an honor she relishes until she discovers that she must sit atop a parade float sponsored by Laramie cigarettes. Lisa denounces smoking and then goes on a rant about college money going to sports and not the arts. The mayor finally gets Lisa dethroned because of a boner by Homer but in the end, they can’t strip Lisa of her newfound confidence.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “The Bishop and the Pawn”

Tim needs to deal with a Bishop’s car, which has a dead body stuck in its windshield. Soon, the whole DBC crew gets involved with discarding the body.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Man Stroke Woman **SERIES PREMIERE**

In the premiere episode the boys play a game of “Shag/Marry/Kill; “a man kills his dog when he doesn’t pay attention to the vet’s instructions, even at the urging of his girlfriend; a woman leaves a sniveling, not up-to-snuff boyfriend; a woman gains some weight in her voice and is convinced her husband is going to leave her; and a dumped ex-boyfriend impresses his ex when he tells her he is now the King of Spain.

Wednesday, October 10
9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie” (R)

The episode starts on Parent Teacher Night where Lisa is given praise by Miss Hoover towards Homer while Marge sits and listens to Bart’s rap sheet. Mrs. Krabappel suggests discipline for Bart but Bart always makes the parents feel bad for punishing him. The new Itchy & Scratchy movie comes out, but Bart is the only one who’s not allowed to see it. Marge and Homer ground Bart for his bad behavior, making him miss the most important movie of his life. Bart starts to get depressed but in Homer’s vision of the future, Bart becomes a Supreme Court Justice, Homer imagines seeing a revival of the movie with Bart.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

This week Carlos crosses the border to introduce us to Barato and his movie “Barato: Cultural Explorations of Differentness Between US of A and Mexicanos.” Then Carlos takes us overseas to show us the new fall line-up on Iraq E! TV.

Thursday, October 11

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Marge Gets a Job” (R)

When the Simpson’s house begins sliding off its foundation, Marge is forced to get a job to help make ends meet. Where else can she turn other than the Springfield nuclear power plant, where she gets promptly hired. Meanwhile, Bart is up to his test-avoiding self but to no avail. While on the job, Marge catches the eye and the heart of Mr. Burns, who falls madly in love with her. Bart writes his test while a wolf attacks him and nobody believes him but Willie. To impress her, he even hires her favorite singer, Tom Jones, to serenade her, but Marge rejects all of her boss’ advances and so Burns fires Marge. Marge hires Lionel Hutz to defend her but 10 lawyers for Burns makes Lionel flee. Homer stands up for Marge and they both see Tom Jones.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Show – “Bored of the Rings” **SEASON PREMIERE**

Sarah is tired of being woken up by church bells every Sunday morning, and goes to the church to express her outrage. Upon leaving, she is approached by several kind women who express their own frustrations with the church. Sarah joins their organization to become their most passionate recruit, unaware that they are a radical anti-abortion group.

Friday, October 12

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – The Simple Life- “The Murrie Family”

Paris and Nichole are challenged by caring for a five year old and a baby.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons -“New Kid on the Block” (R)

Evergreen Terrace welcomes two new neighbors, Ruth Powers and her lovely teenage daughter, Laura. Bart falls hard for Laura, but she thinks of him as just a little friend. Heartbroken, Bart has to watch as the girl he loves starts dating Jimbo Jones. One night while Laura is babysitting Bart, Lisa and Maggie, Bart devises a way to get revenge on Jimbo, who also happens to be over the house. Bart prank calls Moe’s Tavern one last time and claims to be Jimbo and gives his address. Moe charges over to kill Jimbo, but when the little bully starts to cry, Moe reconsiders and leaves. Laura reconsiders, too, breaking up with Jimbo and does a prank call with Bart.

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “Lice Capades”

When a breakout of headlice hits South Park Elementary, Ms. Garrison refuses to say which child brought the plague to the school. So, Cartman takes it upon himself to find out who it is so the kids can make fun of them. Meanwhile, a louse Travis, is desperate to save his fellow lice from imminent destruction from a conscious world.

Saturday, October 13

8 – 8:30 p.m. ET/PT – Corner Gas – “Spin Cycle”

Karen’s attempt at group exercise turns out to be more than she bargained for when she meets the instructor. Wanda buys a new phone for Corner Gas and Brent enjoys not using it while Oscar uses it too much. Emma is putting together a Dog River calendar which Lacey decides she would like to be a part of, until she finds out what the requirements are.

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – Blue Collar TV – “TV”

With the help of guest star Ron White, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry The Cable Guy lampoon television as they take a Blue Collar look at game shows, the hit drama CSI and a very special skit called “Hick Eye for the Queer Guy.” The redneck dictionary word of the week is “fascinate.”

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Lisa’s first Word” (R)

While trying to get Maggie to say her first words, Marge tells Bart and Lisa about what they were like as babies. In flashback, we see that Bart’s first words were “aye carumba.” When Lisa was born, Homer hoped that her first word would be “daddy,” but instead she said “Bart,” which always secretly broke Homer’s heart. Back in the present, as Homer puts Maggie to bed, he tells her that it’s okay that she doesn’t speak yet. Homer leaves the room and Maggie utters the word that he’s been longing to hear, “Daddah.”

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Kathy Griffin: Everyone CAN SUCK IT **SPECIAL PREMIERE**

Griffin’s stand-up gigs find her traveling all around the country from Carnegie Hall in New York City and the Arizona Perryville State Penitentiary to Santa Rosa, CA, the location for her latest special. Griffin travels to the legendary Santa Rosa, CA to perform in front of a sold-out crowd at the Wells Fargo Center for the Performing Arts. No one is safe from the biting comedic aim of the politically incorrect comedian, who is at her celebrity bashing best.

Sunday, October 14

9:00 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Homer’s Triple Bypass” (R)

In a series of terrifying X-ray shots of Homer’s chest, we see that his heart is dangerously clogged with plaque and doughnut residue and that he is in need of a triple bypass operation. The operation costs $40,000, but Homer cannot afford that much, so he goes to Dr. Nick Riviera, who agrees to do the operation for $129.95. During the operation, Dr. Nick loses his nerve and only Lisa, who has been studying the heart, can talk him through the procedure. Homer recovers and is able to live a long, doughnut-filled life.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Comedy Network Presents- Lachlan Patterson (R)

A 1/2 hour of Canadian laughs featuring the talented comic Lachlan Patterson.

Monday, October 15

5:30 – 6 p.m. ET/PT – King of the Hill – “Peggy Pageant Fever” (R)

A beauty pageant offers Peggy the chance to win a truck, but only if she can endure a series of rigorous makeovers to impress the judges.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Marge VS Monorail” (R)

Mr. Burns is forced to pay a $3 million fine for illegally dumping toxic waste under trees in the park. At a town meeting where Springfield’s citizens discuss how to best use the new funds, Lyle Lanley, a charismatic traveling salesman convinces them to build a completely useless monorail. Marge is the only one in town who disapproves of the project and when the monorail is complete disaster, her reservations are proved correct.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Punk’d (R)

It’s the First Annual Punk’d Awards! Relive some of the greatest Punk’d moments as Ashton gives out awards for "Best Reaction from a Guy who could Kick our Ass," "Best Destruction of Private Property," and the coveted "Man Tear" award! Featuring your favorite celebs such as The Rock, Salma Hayek, Zach Braff and many, many more!

Tuesday, October 16

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Selma’s Choice” (R)

Aunt Selma realizes that she might wind up dying all alone and thinks that having a baby can relieve her loneliness. To test her maternal instincts, she takes Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, an amusement park, where she realizes that parenthood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. At the park, Lisa gets high by drinking the water in the Little Land of Duff ride, and Bart misbehaves in his own unique way. Shaken by the experience, Selma is pleased to have no kids of her own and accepts her life and everyone in it, including Jub Jub, her pet iguana.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “Fluids”

The DBC crew has one week to get their shop up to speed again after they fail an EPA inspection.

10:30 – 11 p.m ET/PT – Man Stroke Woman

Quick-witted and well-observed, Man Stroke Woman is a quirky and original take on men, women, kids, friendship and pretty much anything that’s worth having a laugh about. Produced by Ash Atalla (The Office) this British sketch comedy series brings together an odd but irresistible collection of personalities.

Wednesday, October 17

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Brother from the Same Planet” (R)

When Homer leaves Bart waiting in the pouring rain after soccer practice, he must earn back his son’s love. Bart expresses his anger by going to a Big Brother program and claiming to be an abandoned child so he can get a new “father.” He is paired with a cool guy named Tom, and the two of them start spending lots of time together. When Homer finds out about Tom, he plots to get revenge on Bart. To make Bart jealous, Homer adopts a boy named Pepi and he starts spending quality time with him. Tom and Homer soon meet each other and start fighting over Bart. When he realizes how much his father loves him, Bart returns to Homer and Pepi pairs with Tom. On a side note, Lisa runs up $378.53 of phones calls to “The Corey Hotline.”

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Jon Dore Show- “Fertility” **SERIES PREMIERE**

“Everywhere you go nowadays, people are talking about testicles.” When he was seven years old, Jon had surgery to correct an undescended testicle. His Aunt Kathy informs Jon that he may not be able to have children because of that early complication. In this heart-warming episode, Jon sets out to discover if he is fertile or not. He visits a urologist, argues with his balls and proves to everyone that he’ll be a kick-ass role model for children.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

This week Carlos visits prison to shoot a rap video that addresses a topic famous rappers never discuss…their experience behind bars. Then he hosts a game show that asks the question: “Are You Smarter than a Wetback?”

Thursday, October 18

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “I Love Lisa” (R)

Trying to be nice to Ralph Wiggum, Lisa gives him a Valentine’s Day card. Ralph misinterprets the gesture and thinks that Lisa is in love with him. Soon, he begins to pursue her the only way he knows how: foolishly. Lisa tries to let him down nicely, but Ralph won’t get the hint until she yells at him in front of a live television audience at the Krusty the Clown anniversary special. Heartbroken, Ralph channels his feelings into his performance as George Washington in his school’s Presidents Day show. Ralph’s acting is superb, and after a thunderous applause he is able to accept Lisa as just a friend.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – The Sarah Silverman Show – “Joan of Arf”

Sarah’s curiosity is piqued when Doug, her dog, repeatedly licks his own ass. When she finally gives in to temptation and takes a taste for herself, she is witnessed in the act. The authorities take Doug away from Sarah, sending her on an odyssey of self-doubt and a quest for redemption.

Friday, October 19

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – The Simple Life- “The Contreras Family”

Paris and Nicole endure a memorable camping trip with the family.

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Duffless” (R)

Lisa conducts a secret experiment for the Springfield Elementary School science fair to see who’s smarter, Bart or a hamster. Meanwhile, Homer is forced to swear off beer after being arrested on a D.U.I. Bart realizes what Lisa is doing and ruins her plans for the science fair by winning first prize for his own, more sensational, hamster experiment. Homer manages to stay off of beer for an entire month and, instead of drinking to celebrate his sobriety, he decides to stay on the wagon and enjoy a bike ride with Marge.

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – South Park – “The Snuke”

The citizens of South Park are gearing up for the arrival of Hillary Clinton for a big campaign rally. Meanwhile, Cartman suspects that a new Muslim student is involved in a possible terrorist attack. Every minute counts for Cartman as he uses his own interrogation methods on his suspect. But could the plan to target Clinton be just the tip of the iceberg?

Saturday, October 20

8 – 8:30 p.m. ET/PT – Corner Gas – “Whiner Takes All”

Lacey thinks golfing with Brent and Hank will be all fun and games until a warning by Brent creates a competitive triangle. Oscar and Emma’s new bed causes Emma to question her dreams. Meanwhile Oscar is just happy with position nine. Karen is appalled when Davis accepts a free meal from Wanda in exchange for services unrendered.

8:30 – 9 p.m. ET/PT – Blue Collar TV – “Bad Jobs”

This week the BCTV cast explores the world of bad jobs. Jeff plays an incompetent cable TV fixit guy and Weeble Kineval, a Super Dave Osbourne-esque stuntman with no arms or legs. Plus, the boys turn a pottery class upside down. The redneck dictionary word of the week is “poppyseed.”

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Last Exit to Springfield” (R)

Homer finds himself filling in for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant’s union leader when it comes time to negotiate their new contract with Mr. Burns. Homer is a tough negotiator, despite not knowing the first thing about union organizing, and forces Burns to accept the union’s demands on the condition that Homer be removed as leader.

Sunday, October 21

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “The Front” (R)

Convinced they can write better Itchy & Scratchy scripts than the writers who currently work on the cartoon, Bart and Lisa set out to write their own shows. Their scripts are rejected by Roger Meyers, the show’s producer, until Bart and Lisa use Grandpa’s name as their pseudonym. As “Abraham Simpson,” the kids are hired to write for the show and eventually win an Emmy award for their work. At the awards, Grandpa accepts his Emmy from Brooke Shields, but goes up to the podium and makes a rambling, anti-cartoon speech that gets him fired.

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET/PT – Drawn Together- “Freaks and Geeks” **SEASON PREMIERE**

Captain Hero is thrilled to discover Greeks have moved in next door, but remains oblivious to the fact that it’s a family of Greek immigrants and not a Greek fraternity. When the Greeks won’t let Captain Hero rush their house, he sets his sights on revenge, including fraternity-style pranks like kidnapping their daughter. Meanwhile, Ling-Ling’s sickly father moves into the Drawn Together house and falls in love with Toot. Like a typical gold digger, Toot marries the rich old man for his money. But will Ling-Ling put up with losing his inheritance to a fatty?

Monday, October 22

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Treehouse of Horror IX” (R)

Hell Toupée

It’s his third strike, Snake is sent to the electric chair. He vows revenge on all on those who were there when he was caught, Apu, Moe & Bart. Snake is electrocuted and his organs are saved for transplant. The beneficiary of his hair is one Homer J. Simpson. The hair begins exacting the revenge promised by its former owner.

The Terror of Tiny Toon

Marge takes the batteries from the TV remote control. Bart substitutes plutonium with strange results as he and Lisa become cartoon characters in an episode of Itchy & Scratchy, where the violence is real.

Starship Poopers

When Maggie gets her first tooth, a fang, and loses her legs, which are replaced by tentacles. Marge confesses that Homer is not the father, but rather Kang is. To settle the dispute on what would be better for Maggie’s future, Bart suggests they go on The Jerry Springer Show and of course a fight or two breaks out.

10 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Live at Gotham- **PREMIERE**

Artie Lange hosts a night of stand-up from the Gotham Comedy Club in New York City. Featured comedians this week include Al Jackson, Jeremy Schachter, Amanda Melson, Geoff Keith, Kurt Metzger and Joey Gay.

Tuesday, October 23

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Treehouse of Horror X” (R)

I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did

The family (with Marge driving) runs over and believes that they’ve killed Ned Flanders. After covering up their misdeed, the family is haunted by someone who knows what they diddily-iddly-did, Ned Flanders himself.

Desperately Xeeking Xena

Lisa and Bart are blasted with radiation, get superpowers and become “Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl”. In the episode “Enter…The Collector”, they must stop Comic Book Guy (a.k.a. “The Collector”) who has kidnapped Xena to add his collection. His collection also includes, Yasmine Bleeth, Doctor Who (Tom Baker), Matt Groening and many other recognizable icons.

Life’s a Glitch, Then You Die

Homer is the nuclear plant’s Y2K compliance officer. His negligence causes the Y2K bug to get out and spread across the networks of the world, causing mass destruction. Causing the government’s “Operation Exodus” program to be activated, taking the best and brightest off the Earth to a new civilization on Mars.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – American Body Shop – “Superquads”

The DBC crew faces a new challenge when Denise comes up with the idea of modifying a quadriplegic’s van so he can steer it using only his mouth and big toe. This becomes Rob’s new project.

10:30 – 11 p.m ET/PT – Man Stroke Woman

Quick-witted and well-observed, Man Stroke Woman is a quirky and original take on men, women, kids, friendship and pretty much anything that’s worth having a laugh about. Produced by Ash Atalla (The Office) this British sketch comedy series brings together an odd but irresistible collection of personalities.

Wednesday, October 24

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “Treehouse of Terror XI” (R)

G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad
Homer dies because he’s eaten the deadliest plant on Earth, broccoli. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates of Heaven he finds he cannot get in because he hasn’t done one good deed all his life. St. Peter gives him 24 hours to perform at least one deed.

Scary Tales Can Come True
Bart and Lisa are abandoned to the deep dark woods. With a book of Fairy Tales to guide them, the pair navigates their way past a troll and three bears eventually arriving at the house of the witch who lives in the gingerbread house. Meanwhile, Homer and Marge change their minds and he goes in search of the children giving Rapunzel a haircut along the way.

Night of the Dolphin
Lisa lets a dolphin go free but it turns out this particular dolphin is the dolphin’s king. Now that he has his freedom he plots to take his revenge on the land dwelling humans. Soon the dolphins are back on land where they’ve belonged all along and the humans are banished to the sea.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Jon Dore Show- “Problem Drinker”

After peeing in a patio flower pot at his friend Kristine’s bar, Jon sets out to prove that he is not a problem drinker. He talks to an addictions councilor, runs an obstacle course and goes head to head with a cop in a deeply moving role playing scene in which Jon is a surly drunk and the cop is a cop. It’s quite a stretch for both of them. In the end, Jon learns that if you drink to excess, you could wake up to something very, very disturbing.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET/PT – Mind of Mencia

This week Carlos hits the streets to see if America’s ready to elect a Female President. Then he hosts his own poetry event called Carloslam. and you won’t believe the special guests that show up!

Thursday, October 25

9 – 9:30 p.m. ET/PT – The Simpsons – “The Treehouse of Horror XII” (R)

Hex and the City The family sees a gypsy, but Homer’s usual ineptitude causes the gypsy to seek her revenge by cursing him and his loved ones. In an effort to get the curse lifted, Homer catches a leprechaun and releases it upon the gypsy with surprising results. House of Whacks The family home obtains an upgrade, the Ultrahouse 3000, a computer that will do everything for them. Everything is going great until the house falls in love with Marge and tries killing Homer Wiz Kids Bart and Lisa are attending wizard school. The evil Lord Montymort and Slithers have designs on capturing Lisa, so that Montymort can take her essence. They use Bart’s rivalry with his sister as the means to get at her.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET/PT – Keys to the VIP- **SERIES PREMIERE**

Back for a second season of club-style debauchery is The Comedy Network’s testosterone-fuelled production Keys to the VIP. See this year’s sophomore crop of chest thumping playas compete in real-life pick-up challenges while enduring the ridicule (or applause) of the VIP expert panel and the prying eyes of a nation-wide audience. The prize? Her digits (maybe) and “the keys to the VIP” – a VIP night club experience that won’t be soon forgotten.

MTV Program Alert – October 1, 2007

May the Best Man, or Woman, Win: “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” Premieres This Month on MTV – plus “Run’s House” Returns for its Fourth Season

Programming highlights for October include (subject to change):

Find out what it’s like in the day of the life of one of music’s biggest names in the
“Diary of 50 Cent” (October 2)

The new car series “Trick it Out” (October 3)

On October 7 catch the “Newport Harbor” Marathon

Give thanks to “The Hills” this Thanksgiving by watching “The Hills Halfway Marathon” – later, watch “The Hills Cram Session” (October 8)

Hedley performs songs from the new album “Famous Last Words” on “MTV Live” – later, it’s the finale of “Newport Harbor” (October 11)

“Life of Ryan” Marathon (October 14)

Premiere of “MTV Presents: Degrassi in Kenya” and the finale of “Life of Ryan” (October 18)

The premiere of a whole new kind of dating series, “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” (October 23)

“Run’s House: Who’s House Special” (October 24)
Who’s House? Run’s House! Catch the final five episodes of Season 3 back-to-back in anticipation of the Season 4 premiere (October 28)
“Run’s House” returns with a new season (October 31)

Below is a chronological listing of October programming highlights. All programming is subject to change (check local listings):

Tuesday, October 2

9:30 – 10 p.m. ET – “Diary of 50 Cent” *New Episode*

Filmed in the direct narrative documenting style that viewers have come to love, the “Diary of 50 Cent” follows the rapper as he leaves Miami and flies to Cyprus and Estonia all in one weekend to play concerts for his loyal fans around the world. Hear the behind-closed-doors conversations and interactions that you would normally never have the opportunity to hear and find out what it’s really like to be one of the biggest rap stars in the world.

Wednesday, October 3

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET – “Trick it Out” *Series Premiere*

For years, we’ve been pimping out rides at MTV, but now we’re taking it to a new level. We’ve invited the top auto shops in L.A. to flaunt their skills in a head-to-head competition and “Trick It Out.” On each episode two teams of four automotive artisans will represent their shops. Each team gets 10 days and $15,000 to use their skills to customize a beat-up set of wheels and can do whatever they want … as long as the finished product is tricked out to match the chosen theme! In addition to the bragging rights, the winning team will get to keep the losing team’s ride, too!

Sunday, October 7

10:30 – 2 p.m. ET – “Newport Harbor” *Marathon*

With the season finale just days away this is the opportunity to get caught up on “Newport Harbor” with back-to-back episodes. On the road to their first kiss, the newest, hottest couple at school had to contend with an overprotective father and a girl that’s used to getting everything she wants. Meanwhile, former best friends competed for the affection of a sophomore beauty. As they prepared to leave their childhood behind, they found out that high school wasn’t always a day at the beach.

Monday, October 8 *Happy Thanksgiving!*

1:30 – 6 p.m. ET – “The Hills Halfway Marathon” *Marathon*

We’re halfway to the end of “The Hills” Season 3 and to celebrate we’re giving you back-to-back episodes of everyone’s favourite L.A. trio. Miss the episode where Spencer got ‘artwork’ for the wall of the new apartment? The confrontation between frenemies Lauren and Heidi at Ketchup? Did you miss when Elodie totally let Heidi have it? Or the on going on again off again relationship of Audrina and Justin-Bobby? Catch it all this afternoon.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET – “The Hills Cram Session”

Take a look back at all of the hottest moments from “The Hills” Season 3 so far with this 30-minute cram session.

Thursday, October 11
6 – 7 p.m. ET – “MTV Live”
Hedley will be in the studio for The Live Leak Performance and will perform tracks from their new album “Famous Last Words.” The band will also chat with the “MTV Live” hosts and audience about making the album and their recent cross country leak; which stopped in 5 cities across Canada. For free tickets and details on how to be in the “MTV Live” audience call (416) 355-3979, toll free 1-888-491-6888 or send an e-mail to liveaudience@mtv.ca. The Live Leak of “Famous Last Words” will be exclusively available at MTV.ca on October 23, one week before the album is released on October 30.

10 – 10:30 p.m. ET – “Newport Harbor” *Season Finale*
It’s time for the seniors say their final goodbyes. Clay and Chrissy promise to keep their relationship going while she’s at college, and Chase and Allie see each other one last time before she takes off for Europe. Chrissy leaves Newport feeling sad, but quickly experiences a new-found freedom.

Sunday, October 14
10:30 – 2 p.m. ET – “Life of Ryan” *Marathon*
He may be mentioned in the same breath as pro skateboarder Tony Hawk, have a skate park in his backyard, travel the globe and have a line of sneakers named after him, but the “Life of Ryan” is anything but a walk in the park. At just 17 Ryan, a skateboarding phenomenon, does travel the world showing off his skills, but he’s still a normal kid who spends his days at the skate park worrying about girls, curfews and acceptance, both from his peers and his parents. On top of all that, Ryan is still struggling with his parents’ recent divorce and strives to be a father figure to his two younger brothers. Watch back-to-back episodes to find out what it’s really like in the “Life of Ryan.”

Thursday, October 18
7 – 8 p.m. ET – “MTV Presents: Degrassi in Kenya” *Special*
This documentary follows the journey of several young stars from the internationally-acclaimed Canadian teen TV-series, “Degrassi: The Next Generation,” as they travel to Kenya to help build a school and in the process, learn more about the world and themselves.

10:30 – 11 p.m. ET – “Life of Ryan” *Season Finale*
In the season finale of “Life of Ryan” the 17-year-old skating phenom decides he’s tired of being pulled between his parents and their divorce drama and decides it’s time to move into neutral territory by buying a house of his own. However, this decision comes with adult responsibilities as he must convince his parents that he’s mature enough to be a homeowner, break the news to his two little brothers, find a roommate, and find the home of his dreams.

Tuesday, October 23
10 – 11 p.m. ET – “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” *Series Premiere*
MTV’s taking reality dating to the next level with the premiere of “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila.” Guaranteed to be a roller-coaster ride of drama, conflict and emotion that busts stereotypes and challenges the norm, “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” features Tequila a 25-year-old bisexual model , whose MySpace profile is touted as having the most friends in the history of MySpace. “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” will follow Tequila as she whittles down a group of 32 suitors — 16 straight men and 16 gay women — who will live together and compete against one another in challenges to win her heart

Wednesday, October 24
10:30 – 11 p.m. ET – “Run’s House: Who’s House Special” *Special*
Whose house is it anyway? Watch as Justine, Angela, Jojo and the other Simmons family members take over Run’s traditional role of offering advice and offer their own words of wisdom on the day-to-day happenings of their family life.

Thursday, October 25
10:30 – 11 p.m. ET – “Date Ryan Special” *Special*
It’s “Life of Ryan” meets “Next!” If you watched “Life of Ryan,” you know that Ryan had a tough time finding a girlfriend. MTV gave viewers the opportunity to post their profiles online, and now you can watch the results as Ryan meets five lucky girls for their first date.

Sunday, October 28
3 – 5:30 p.m. ET – “Run’s House” *Marathon*
At the end of Season 3 Rev. Run and his family were in the process of major life changes. Rev. Run and his wife Justine were in the process of adopting a baby, JoJo was applying for college, and the girls were proving themselves to be mini-moguls in the making. Get caught up on what was going on in “Run’s House” and get ready for the premiere of Season 4 on November 1.

Wednesday, October 31
10:30 – 11 p.m. ET – “Run’s House” *Season Premiere*
The events in the new season of “Run’s House” will include the Simmons family adopting a new child, while Vanessa start’s her acting career, modeling, and working on the new Pastry sneaker line along with her sister Angela, who will also be working on her magazine. Jojo will be finishing high school and going to college, while Rev. Run will be working on his new album.

And coming to MTV in November…
The “2007 Europe Music Awards” – November 1 LIVE on MTV.ca

CTV’s primetime line up delivered more than one million viewers watching in each hour of primetime Wednesday night. In the end, CTV Inc. won every hour in all key demos:

NHL on TSN drew 1.2 million viewers as the Senators and Leafs renewed hostilities in their Season Opener. The game… peaked at 1.5 million viewers in the last 13 minutes, is the 6th highest game in TSN’s history and was the No. 1 program of the night in Toronto/Hamilton with 488,000 viewers.

Private Practice on CTV peaked in its last half hour with 1.324 million viewers and drew an average audience of 1.225 million viewers. Head-to-head from 8-8:30 p.m., Private Practice…beat the season premiere of Little Mosque on the Prairie (794,000 – CBC) by 42%, attracted 25% more viewers than Back to You (Global/FOX), which dropped for its third straight week to 898,000 viewers, was the No. 1 show in its time period in both Toronto/Hamilton and Vancouver.

Criminal Minds on CTV was the one to beat at 9 p.m., winning the night with 2.1 million viewers and 1.1 million viewers among A18-49. Criminal Minds… nearly tripled the audience of Bones (752,000 – Global/FOX) nationally, was the most-watched non-sports program of the night in Toronto/Hamilton and Vancouver, was nearly three times stronger in Toronto (+190%) and more than double the speed in Vancouver (+140%) of Bionic Woman on NBC/E!

CSI: New York on CTV became the second most-watched show of the night with nearly 2 million viewers (1,952,000). CSI: New York…head-to-head, attracted more than three times the audience as Life (532,000) on Global/NBC, which dropped 25% compared to its season premiere last week, was the No. 2, non-sports program in Toronto/Hamilton and Vancouver following Criminal Minds

Data quoted: CTV Full and Global Full (BBM Nielsen Media Research).

Kathy Griffin cranks up the volume in her outrageous, one-hour stand-up special Everybody Can Suck It, premiering Saturday, Oct. 13 at 10 p.m. ET/PT exclusively on The Comedy Network.

Taped before a live studio audience at the Wells Fargo Center for the Performing Arts in Santa Rosa, CA, Griffin takes aim at everyone from Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton to Mel Gibson and Ann Coulter.

No one is safe from Griffin’s biting comedic aim which is at its celebrity bashing best.

“I read about Paris Hilton getting into a fist fight with Shanna Moakler on a stairwell in a club,” Griffin says. “That’s not my thing… I’m not going to confront anybody, I was raised right. I talk about people behind their backs. It’s called manners.”